Handfasting: As Forever As You Want To Be
In this age of quickie marriage and instantaneous divorce, the
ancient tradition of handfasting makes more sense than ever.
Handfasting is a binding commitment between two loving persons
that requires no bureaucratic licensing to begin and no lawyers
to undo. To those that choose to handfast, the commitment is as
deep and binding as anything cooked up by City Hall. Indeed, a
handfast can last forever, so long as love remains. Even death
cannot end a handfasted union; there is no 'til death do us
part' in the ceremony.
Originally a Celtic tradition, handfasting has been adopted into
many New Age philosophies and is practiced quietly worldwide.
There are two basic types of handfast: the first to signify a
betrothal, traditionally for 'a year and a day'. If all goes
well and after the year-and-a-day the two intended lovers are
still up for it, a second handfast binds the two forever
--heart, mind, body and spirit-- for as long as love remains.
The only thing that can undo a handfast is a lack of love.
Most often, the handfast ceremony takes place outdoors, in as
natural a setting as can be found. One of the loveliest
ceremonies this writer ever attended was on a rooftop in San
Francisco, above the city and under the stars. There were pots
and barrels overflowing with plants and flowers and thousands of
tiny, colorful lights entwined throughout. The loving couple
just happened to be two men, radiantly in love and rainbow-hued,
flowing silk robes. One wonderful thing about handfasting is
that the participants are not bound by restrictive, excluding
laws. The only requirement to join another by handfast is true
and abiding, requited Love.
Usually, the handfasting ceremony is presided over by an elder
of whatever spiritual group the betrothed belong. Sometimes the
couple chooses to do their own, private ceremony. So long as
their intent is correct and love is true, there really is no
'wrong' way to handfast. Some basic elements are typical-- words
and gestures are offered, acknowledging reverence for nature and
the elements. Ancient ancestors are invited and kindly spirits
invoked. The betrothed gaze lovingly and deeply into one
another's eyes and whisper promises to each other as the elder
gently binds their wrists together with a red cord. This is the
actual 'fasting' -- the red cord signifying love and knots
indicating the tender bondage of their mutual commitment. Thus
the saying, to 'tie the knot'.
Indeed a handfast is one of the most delightful Pagan
celebrations. It is a time of joyous revelry and magical
merriment. It's a perfectly wonderful reason to dress in
fanciful, flamboyant garb and wear flowers in one's hair.
Sometimes, after the ceremony, the newly-wedded couple jump over
a broom, leaping together into their new life as one.
Traditional 'cakes and ale' or other delicious treats are shared
afterward and guests are encouraged to dance and cavort well
into the night. Love is always worth celebrating; handfasting is
a time-honored way of making a truly heartfelt commitment to
never-ending love.