The Green Light Ramble And Riff
Remember To Remember Again
It occurs to me again (this is always occurring to me) that
there are a million daily annoyances that I experience, which
are easily forgotten (they are so tiny and trivial); yet, soon
enough I experience them all over again, and the whole thing
refreshes in the annoyance region of my mind. (oh, no, I'm
sounding a bit like an intoxicated Andy Rooney!) Well, what am I
getting at? Should I just put forth a metaphor to encapsulate
this whole idea? Okay, I will....it's the light that stays green
for two seconds. And, I'm not, I don't think, exaggerating
here....this light really stays green for two seconds. You can
be approaching the intersection....you may be about forty feet
from the light....you're driving.... you're forty feet away, and
you see the light go from red to green, and, you can bet it'll
turn red by the time you reach it.
Friends, granted this is tiny, but, granted it is also
ridiculous, and another example of things being done
incorrectly. Sometimes I wonder if they're ever done any other
way... and, when there's a line of traffic waiting at a red
light, when the light turns green, folks don't step on the
gas.... there's a significant lull, and I really don't
understand it.... you know how there's public service
announcements? I'd like for their to be a public service
announcement commercial where Samuel Jackson or Tom Cruise says
repeatedly, "Green means go," while a video plays of a traffic
light turning green and a driver stepping on the
gas........lol........... is this my world? and, while I'm at
it..... so many people don't use their traffic signals, and this
is truly reckless.... I'd like to see that law more rigorously
enforced. Public Service Announcement: Driving Is Not A Game....
okay, that having been said, today I did stop in the road when I
saw what I thought was a big dog.
The Deer That Initially Looked Like A Big Dog
I was on one of these back country roads right by the house, and
I was at the stop sign, and I was just turning right. Believe
me, there's really not much traffic on these back roads...so,
I'm turning right, and I glance to my left, to the road that
continues from the road I was turning off of...well, that
continuing road rolls downhill, with a thick forrest on both
sides, and it has that mysterious quality to it which
attracts....looking at it, I feel tempted to go down it... it
has that intangible quality to it which promises something
rewarding or salubrious....well, from my eye's corner I see a
big brown creature.
In that instant, I say to myself, "Damn, that's a big dog."
Then, next instant, I realize it's a deer, and she's taking her
sweet time in crossing that little country road, and, I think to
myself what I generally think to myself whenever I see a deer:
"That has got to be one of the most beautiful things I've ever
seen." And, she was, and there was no traffic coming, so I sat
there and watched her, and, she was sure taking her sweet time
in doing whatever she was doing, and, I thought to myself, "This
is indeed a divine universe," and, then I thought to myself, as
I so often do, "It's a shame people seem so reluctant to make
statements like that ." Folks, I'm telling you, you've got to
start, purposefully, putting some holes in your armor.
I Am Putting Some Holes In My Armor
Lately, it occurs to me again, something I've given a lot of
thought to over the years. You know, it's so easy to be cynical.
That's the easiest, safest, most cowardly thing you can do. I've
been against that for years, and, I think, since I became a
father a year and a half ago, I'm just becoming even more and
more against it. I think there's a correlation. I really do.
This is just the type of thing I find myself thinking about
while I'm driving. I do some enjoyable thinking while driving on
these back country roads. I mean... you know, I'm really
enjoying life while rolling along and looking at the deer and
pondering the insanity.
Insanity = Fireworks Stands On The Roadsides
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong... I mean, if I'm crazy and wrong,
send me an email and tell me so; but, a lot of kids, every year,
wake up with a few less fingers and eyes and things because of
fireworks. You can argue with my general reasoning concerning
any number of things, but this is a matter of fact. You can read
about it in newspapers and various books of statistics (who
writes those things?) In fact, as a young lad, one of my pals
actually accidentally killed himself by playing with fireworks.
He was putting them into a bottle, and, you know, the bottles
would explode, and, on that terrible day...the fireworks didn't
go off, so, he went to inspect, and, sadly, it then went off,
and he ended up with glass shards in his neck, and his name was
on a tombstone soon after, and he was about ten years old. You
know, this is reality.
Yet, driving home tonight, I saw quite a few fireworks stands on
the roadside, and, folks, I'm not in Tenessee. This is
Pennsylvania. And, I must admit, these fireworks stands are
beautiful. They are colorful, with their orange and red and
yellow banners, and the actual boxes of fireworks look
brilliant, bright, and exotic. I mean...when I see one, it's
like I'm suddenly an iron filing and it's a big colorful
magnet.... I don't deny the attraction, but that's really a big
part of the problem! And, you know, I've spoken elsewhere
recently about totally f-ed up things that are acceptable, which
in my view shouldn't be, and this is another thing to add to the
list. Sometimes it occurs to me that we could solve some of the
unemployment problem by creating a league of jobs known as the
common sense squad.
All Hail The Common Sense Squad
You know, the Common Sense Squad's job would be to impose a bit
of common sense upon society, ie. If they see a traffic light
that stays green for two seconds, they see to it that this is
corrected. If they see a fireworks stand in a residential area,
they may point out that, as I said, fireworks are responsible
for missing eyes and things, so, perhaps we should give this
some more consideration. If they see cars not moving when the
light turns green, they jump out of the sidelines and blow their
whistles and scream, "Go! Drive for crying out loud! It's
green!" If they see a car stopped in the middle of the road,
because the driver's looking at a deer, they, well, they'll
leave him alone.
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