Help! I'm single for the first time in years!
You're back on the dating scene. But you're worried as it's been
a long time since you were single or looking. Regardless of how
exciting and new it all seems, it's only natural for one to feel
unsure and 'out of practice' when taking the step of going on
dates again.
So, I have compiled the ten best things you can do to gain some
confidence, and have more fun during this transition.
1) Get a makeover. A new haircut, wardrobe, or updated makeup
will not only make you feel better about yourself, it will also
help to mark this time of your life as a new beginning, and
something to be excited about. If you look and feel great, it
will give you more confidence which is always more attractive to
others.
2) Don't take it all too seriously to begin with. Look at this
time as a chance to get used to talking to others, flirting,
coming out of your shell. It doesn't matter if a serious
relationship doesn't develop, as long as you are having fun!
Enjoying yourself will put others at ease and more people will
approach you.
3) Start out by going out with a group of friends first. This
will feel more natural to start out with.
4) When on a date, nerves sometimes can take over, and we tend
to talk more, try to overcome this. Please try to avoid this.
Learn to become a great listener. Also, when you do talk to your
date, keep the topics light to begin with. Speak slowly, you've
got all night! Try to discuss subjects you are both interested
in, which will help the conversation to flow more smoothly.
5) Always have a 'way out' planned in case a date does turn out
badly. Take your mobile phone with you, and ask a friend or
relative to phone you at a certain time. If you really want to
bail out of the date early, you can tell your date after the
phone call that you are very sorry, but you're going to have to
cut the evening short.
6) Remember your date is just as nervous as you are. They are
obviously interested enough to get to know you better, and are
therefore just as anxious to make a good impression. Try to
spend your time on dates, making the other person feel at ease.
Not only will your date appreciate this effort, but you will be
focusing less on yourself and how you're 'doing'.
7) Try to keep up to date with current news events before your
date. Nobody is suggesting you pore over newspapers for hours on
end. However, if you have some understanding of what is going on
in the world around you, it'll give you both a conversation
topic that is easy to discuss.
8) If you have just suffered a painful breakup, try not to focus
too heavily on it. Your date wants to know all about you. Not
your ex. Of course, if you are going through a divorce, it's
fine to mention it, but keep it to a minimum, and remember your
date is not your therapist!
9) Take care of your health. Eat well and exercise. A healthy
person is a happy person, and this will reflect well in your
self esteem. Know that you are putting your best self forward.
10) If you come across a set back (for example, your date loses
interest or you lose interest in your date) don't worry! Look
upon it as practice. Remind yourself that the aim was to have
fun and you did. Look forward to your next romantic adventure!