I want to love him... but he's so far away
Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not
supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in
them. However, if we can manage to keep some things in mind and
change our mind set just a bit, we can see that making
long-distance work is not that bad...not only that, but also
that it just might be a little bit of (honest) fun.
What most people think about when they hear about long-distance
relationships is failure. Some type of failure. Failure to
communicate, failure to stay interested, failure to keep one's
hands off of another man or woman. But it isn't so. What
long-distance is really about is success... succeeding in
sacrificing for a special person, succeeding in doing what most
people are unable to do: make love work at a distance.
First, however, we have to get one thing straight. In order for
a long-distance relationship to work, BOTH parties must be very
and equally interested in making this work in the first place.
I've made long-distance work but only when she was as interested
as I am. If you sense any doubt or have any reason to be
skeptical about the other person's commitment, then the harsh
reality is that it might not workout. However, if you have both
talked and are sure you want to go along, we here at
thecollegeguys.com can help you make it happen.
Communication Being able to send messages to your significant
other is crucial but not always so simple. If this is going to
work, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to
communicate everything you need to to your special somebody. Try
to make it easy on yourself by getting friendly phone plans
(free mobile-to-mobile perhaps) and achieve an online presence
(online messenger with 30 dollar web cam). Write letters,
emails, text messages...mix it up over time and talk about
what's going on, how you feel and other positive things. Never
focus on the distance or time, ever. That will promote
undesirable sentiment towards your situation. Also try to talk
every so often about your situation. If you to are willing to
see other people but stay close, make sure its mutual. DO NOT
have close relations with another if your partner only cares
about you. This is considered cheating.
Equal Situation One of the worst things that can happen is for
one person in the relationship to be incredibly busy while the
other is incredibly bored. This is just asking for trouble.
Instead, what is ideal is for both members of this union to
share more or less the same kind of schedule. If you're living
at home like a bum it might be hard to make this work if your
girlfriend is working to be a doctor at Yale. Interests will
change sharply and time will become a factor...what will keep
you interested when she has to study for hours tonight and
tomorrow, for instance? Instead, if you're both bums or both
studying to save the world, chances for this to work will be
higher.
Keep it interesting Try different things. Save money (key word:
sacrifice) so that you can visit him/her or s/he can visit you.
Play around with phone sex. Play games. Get creative. Remember,
if you're really serious, it behooves you to be able to keep
each other interested in a variety of ways. Expensive gifts
and/or sexuality shouldn't be the only things keeping you
together.
Just do it Now there will be a lot of negativity around: people
who snicker at you, tell you you're missing out or
crazy...forget that. Just keep doing what you're doing. If the
person is worth it, you will have the last laugh. Everyone wants
others to fail to make themselves feel better, so succeed at
this and you can rub it in later. Once you two make the decision
to go along with this, NOTHING should hold you back except for
the interest for and of each other. You'll have room to do what
you need to, and you know that no matter how far, there's always
somone there for you.