How To Get To Know a Disabled Person
When you first meet someone who is blind, deaf, or in a
wheelchair, what is your initial reaction? Curiosity? Sympathy?
Awkwardness? If you experience any of these emotions, you are
not alone. Chances are you don't regularly associate with
someone who is disabled, so these feelings are quite common.
Having been blind since birth, I have encountered a wide range
of reactions, from curious stares when i walk down the street
with a cane or holding someone's arm, to amazement at being able
to feed and dress myself. Most people don't intend to be rude or
insensitive, but just aren't sure what to expect. Here are four
points to keep in mind if you should happen to meet a disabled
person.
1. Disabled people can lead active lives. With few exceptions, a
disability does not prevent someone from working, raising a
family, or taking part in social activities. Many sports and
recreation programs have been adapted to accommodate a person
with a disability, including baseball, golf, water skiing,
biking, and swimming. Instead of concentrating on the
disability, look at the person the same way you would any other
acquaintance.
2. It's all right to ask questions. Many people are afraid of
offending someone by asking about their disability. When meeting
anyone for the first time, it's natural to be curious about who
they are, where they're from, and what they do for a living.
The same is true for a disabled person. Asking questions is
usually acceptable, as long as you use common sense. Don't, for
example, ask a blind person how he feeds and bathes himself.
Instead, find out what equipment or techniques he uses in his
job and at home, how he gets around town, how does Braille work,
etc.
3. Offer assistance when necessary. You see a woman in a
wheelchair having trouble entering a building or negotiating
steps. You'd like to help, but don't want to embarrass her. What
should you do?
It's usually appropriate to lend a hand if someone is having
obvious difficulty, but keep in mind that not everyone will be
willing to accept your help. It's not much different than
pulling over and offering assistance to a motorist with a flat
tire. Unless the woman in the wheelchair is in danger, it isn't
necessary to press the issue if they refuse your help. You did
your part.
4. Remember that we all have obstacles to overcome. No matter
who we are, each of us has a weakness or challenge to face. How
do you feel when you are treated differently for being bald,
short, or heavyset? Like you, a disabled person would much
rather be accepted for who they are, rather than be pitied or
shunned because of a disability. Many friends and colleagues
have said to me, "I often forget that you are blind." To me,
that is the ultimate compliment.
Meeting someone with a disability doesn't have to be an
intimidating experience. Asking questions, offering assistance,
and putting yourself in their shoes can go a long way toward
recognizing them as people with normal thoughts and feelings who
just happen to have a disability. Who knows? You might make some
new friends in the process.