Improve The Odds
What are the statistics on successful online matches? No one
really knows since making a connection on the Web is such a
private and personal matter. From articles in the media and
success stories spread by word of mouth in chat rooms and
forums, we know that many couples are getting together in the
real world - some even making a lifelong commitment. But for
each success story, there are at least a few online
relationships that didn't make the transition to offline. These
tips may help you stack the deck in your favor and improve the
odds.
Keep It Local Although the Internet allows us to meet people
from all over the world, the best chance for making a successful
online to offline transition is to start with someone in the
same geographic area. The stories of couples who got together
(and stayed together) despite thousands of miles between them
may be romantic but they are few and far between. While some
singles seem to seek out a long distance relationship, they
might actually be seeking the comfort that the built-in
obstacles provide. Online-only relationships can be great for
those who are looking for fantasy but if you are seeking a real
offline relationship, best to start with someone relatively
nearby.
Make Communication A Two-Way Street Just as in real life where
opposites often attract, many online couples have a "talker" and
a "listener". The listener asks questions, offers advice/support
and will hang on every word from the talker. Sounds great in
theory to have someone you can tell all your troubles to, share
your successes with and who will be there for you whenever you
have time to sit down at the computer. The problem is once these
one-sided couples leave the online world and have that first
date, the talker knows virtually nothing about the listener.
It's better to give up a bit of the spotlight and get to know
your chat partner now so you don't end up seated across the
table from a complete stranger later.
Keep It Honest How tempting it is to stretch or hide the truth
from someone you only "see" online! Trading photographs is a
good start but trading information is important too. Of course
you shouldn't give out personal information to just anyone
online - it isn't smart or safe to do so - but if you are
involved enough with someone to consider meeting them away from
the computer, it's important to be honest about yourself and
your life situation. We've all heard the stories of couples who
spent months online together only for one half to find out the
other is older, younger, married or even a different gender than
what they always claimed to be. So keep your own end of the
conversation honest and pay close attention to what you're being
told (and especially what you're not being told). When that
little voice in your head tells you someone is too good to be
true, they just might be. Don't let wishful thinking keep you
from asking the important questions or trusting your instincts.
Step Out Of The Bubble The level of intimacy new couples find
online is all but impossible in the real world. Online there are
no distractions, two people are completely devoted to the
conversation, differences can be ignored or resolved easily and
no outside forces vie for anyone's attention. But step out of
that bubble and you really find out how compatible two people
are (or aren't). When someone sits down to chat on the computer
they have the time and inclination to talk. But away from the
computer there are so many parts of life and activities to
consider. Will you want to do the same things and give the same
amount of time and energy to a relationship? Or will you
discover that one wants a bit of quality time together amid a
busy life full of obligations and activities while the other
wants 24/7 togetherness? There is no universal time frame for
how quickly a couple should step out of the bubble and test
their compatibility in person but it is wise for every couple to
realize there is no guarantee that the compatibility you feel
online will be the same offline. Best to keep your expectations
in check until you've spent real time together in the real
world.
Keep It Safe You can ask all the right questions, take all the
right precautions and still end up meeting someone in person
that you do not feel comfortable with. No matter how much magic
you feel online, don't put yourself at risk by taking shortcuts
when it comes to your personal safety. If you truly have found
someone you will have a long happy relationship with, there's no
harm in delaying being alone together until you are as sure as
possible that you will be safe. Always meet for the first time
in a public place and have your own transportation available to
get to and from the date. Take every precaution you would when
meeting a total stranger because, even though you may have
chatted online for months, when it comes to physical safety this
is a first date with a stranger.
There are many more good people than bad online but be sure you
have one of the good ones before trusting them with your safety
or your heart and you'll definitely improve the odds that your
relationship will work.