It's A Great Relationship, But Is It Time to Break Up?
You've found a new guy and the two of you have been dating for a
few months now. He's handsome, funny, and charming, and yet
something about the relationship doesn't feel quite right. You
so much want this to work, as it has been some time since you've
dated anyone this long with the prospect of a permanent
commitment. But you still have some important unanswered
questions. 1. Where does he go on the weekends? You've noticed
from the beginning of your dating relationship that your guy
doesn't hang around on Saturday or Sunday. In fact, you don't
see him too often on Friday nights, either. You have to wonder
if he has a family out there somewhere, or some kind of
commitment elsewhere that is bound to interfere with yours at
some point. In fact, it already is interfering. When you ask him
why he can't come around over the weekend, he stutters and
stammers, but so far, no good excuses.
2. What about his family? After five months, you still haven't
met his parents, sister, or even his dog. He's given you a dozen
reasons why you can't visit his apartment, none of them valid.
You would love to meet his family--if he has one, that is.
Moreover, it wouldn't be a bad idea to be introduced to his
coworkers, neighbors, or friends. But so far, none of that is
happening. There was one buddy from college who was passing
through town and took the two of you out for dinner, but that
was it.
3. Does he really have a job? Even though he has vaguely
mentioned having a job somewhere, he doesn't say much about the
work, the company, or his boss. You don't actually know what he
does or how much he makes. In fact, he's often broke, which is
why the two of you hang out at your place for pizza and
television rather than go to the movies or dinner.
4. Will he ever get serious? This guy takes life pretty easy.
He doesn't seem to have any hassles or worries, and he's not
particularly interested in the future--with or without you.
You've fallen into a fairly predictable and almost boring dating
pattern, and you're wondering if you could live this way the
rest of your life even if things did get serious.
5. Does he meet your needs? When you need a shoulder to cry
one, he withdraws a little, like he's not very comfortable with
emotion. At times when you want to dress up and go out, he's
ready to sack out on the sofa for a little snooze. He seldom
shows much interest in your job, your family, or your hobbies.
So what's to love about him?
If any of these, especially in combinations of two or more,
describe your relationship, maybe it's time to move on. Unless
you force a confrontation and insist on things changing, chances
are they won't. And who wants to force someone to pretend to
like you, anyway? It could be time to give up and get going if
your Romeo isn't showing much enthusiasm.