Dating Advice: Keep a Guy Interested!
Many women make themselves overly available in relationships,
and the consequences tend to be disastrous.
Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one!
Can't let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and
wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner.
Can't run out for real food and risk missing his call!
When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with
him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday
night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he
called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel!
Hey, these things aren't important, right?
Wrong!
When you cancel prior agreements to be with a guy, you're pretty
much canceling your life. Deep down, you don't feel good about
it (your friends and dentist don't feel good about it, either).
You're also telling the guy that you can't live without him.
And that lowers your stock.
Let's turn the tables: Would you really want some a guy who
cancels plans with his friends to be with you? Who calls you
three times a day? Who treats you like you're his one and only
shot at happiness?
No, you wouldn't. Regardless of his education, salary, sense of
humor, and great looks, you'd stop respecting him. Any
attraction you once felt for him would die a quick and sudden
death.
You'd dump him and look for a guy who has a life.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't advocate playing games. If
a man calls you, you answer the phone. If he leaves a message,
you call him back. But if he calls you at 7:30PM on Friday to go
to a football game on Saturday, I'd think twice about it.
In other words, don't let yourself be taken for granted.
My mother told me of a rule she had when she was dating: She'd
never say yes to a Saturday date unless the guy asked her before
Thursday. She explained that he'd figure she didn't have much
going on if she didn't have plans by then. When she told me
this, I thought it sounded contrived and stupid. But, as in most
things, it turns out she was right.
Remember this: Everybody, man or woman, likes to win a prize.
Being available, but not too-available, makes you a prize.
As time goes on and your relationship with a guy becomes
serious, it's important to keep up your hobbies, continue to see
your friends, and do all the things that make you who you are
--things that don't necessarily include him.
It makes you attractive. What's more, you'll like yourself more
for it. Women who like themselves are especially desirable,
sexy, and fun to be around.
Be that woman.