Impractical Magic
Witchcraft is a messy, expensive, time-consuming, and
inefficient way to achieve your aims. I know, because I've tried
it ...
For instance, I once tried to increase my abundance by applying
the principles of Feng Shui. So, I bought a $40.00 book which
instructed me to enhance my "prosperity" by putting chimes on
the porch, an aquarium full of gold fish in the front hallways
and a jolly statue of a Buddha at the front door. Before I knew
it my phone was ringing off the hook with people asking to"
reserve a table for four at seven." Unfortunately what I really
wanted was writing gigs!
I have also tried "clearing" my space, the Native American
Indian Way by doing a "smudge". This means walking around your
house in a counter-wise circle with a flaming bundle of North
American grasses. Well, I must of done something wrong, like
perhaps accidently eliminate the good vibes that were already in
my house, because before I knew it, a bunch of nasty energy
invaded my space - an angry landlord, neighbours and members of
the fire department all demanding to know what the strange reek
was and why I kept setting off the fire alarm. It didn't help
that I was doing this ritual "sky clad" which is witch-talk for
buck-naked.
Most spells demand that you create a talisman or magical object
of some kind and carry it around with you at all times. Of
course, at no time, in any book I've ever read about witchcraft,
does it tell you what to do when you lose the talisman and
usually the talisman is something really small and complicated
like "a chestnut that has been filled with mercury and had the
hole sealed up with red wax." You lose something like that,
which represents all your good luck and you really do spend a
couple of weeks wondering what's going to happen next. You get
so anxious that your subconscious manifests the worst case
scenario anyway.
Also there's nothing more embarassing than having some kind of
love talisman, like a potato carved in the likeness of your
lover and stuck with pins, fall out of your purse in front of
him and to have to explain that. Also, many spells that you find
in self-help witch craft books on the market such as those by
Scott Cunningham, Anna Riva and The Supermarket Sorceress often
ask you to create some really disgusting object, like a melon
filled with raw liver or an orange stuck with needles and cloves
and hide it in your house for a full cycle of a moon. No wonder
witches houses often smell -- they've got all this rotting food
lying around the house.
Of course, the main reason witchcraft is so impractical is that
people tend to ignore the 3X3X3 rule: whatever you wish upon
another will come back on you three fold. This of course does
not jive with human nature and I don't know a single witch, who
didn't just once, wish something bad on someone else while
thinking "It's O.K. Whatever comes back I can take it."
The next thing you know you're spending all your free time,
trying to reverse and fix curses that you have sent to others
that have rebounded on you threefold. Not too practical! Just
like in that movie Practical Magic where the Nicole Kidman
character manifests a lover and ends up with a rapist. If
witchcraft could be practiced with a certain Zen detachment
instead of a desire for control, I guess we'd probably have the
perfect religion. In the meantime, watch out for dangerous
amateur magicians.
Finally, I am Queen of My Domain!