The Girl in My College
Love. What is it? the sweet sayings? the kisses? the romance? or
maybe, the sex? No; it is not in any of these! And mind you, it
is not deceit either. Or promises made and not kept. Yes. I call
it sincerity and understanding.
There are girls and there are girls. Or I should say, there are
women and there are women. For not all women are alike. Some are
good while some are bad. Some are there to shorten men's
life-span, while some are not. I know of a woman who after
signing a divorce note without a cause made her husband to
commit suicide. Pity him.
I have never seen anyone so pretty as the girl in my college.
No. Not in my life. No girl can compare with her. Very
intelligent. Modest in her dressing. Having the look of an
innocent girl who has never known any evil. Maybe I should call
her an "angel," but I know angels do not fall down to date men
on earth. It has never happened in history and would not happen
in the future. Not because men are evil, but because the world
is corrupt. I would have loved to date an angel that would
prolong my life-span. But I wonder if angels still walk to tread
on earth.
Her character radiates the look of a good future house-wife. She
is a girl every man would like to date. I've never thought it
for once that I would like to date a girl at my early age.
Shy. Confused. That is exactly the way I felt each time I asked
her to come and see me. And each time, I blame myself after she
leaves my room in the hostel. I never know how to tell her that
I love her. I ask myself a question so as to delay my approach
for her. What if she has a guy dating her? What will be her
response to me? And if not, I should be fast getting her. For I
know what pride it will be if she eventually becomes mine.
My stay in the college would have ended up my
life—cultists and lecturers were desperate to have her.
But thank God, I did not die!
My heart sang for joy when she said "yes" to my proposal. I felt
like giving her a hug and a kiss to express my joy to her. In
fact it was my happiest day. At the moment I felt the world has
come to my feet.
I stand, staring at her with a great passion. The hope came that
one day we would still get married. Oh what a great dream! For
that is what I've always wanted as a young man. To get a girl
that will make me feel proud. They call us best couples on
campus. Everyone envies us. We always have fabulous time
together. Taking good care of each other. She is a girl I would
say, I really enjoyed a relationship with. We hanged out most of
the time. In fact, it was fun and romantic. If every
relationship would be like that, then there will be no need for
separation and divorce. I hate those words. I wish I could have
those words erased out of my dictionary.
It is not as easy as I thought, to disclose it to my parents.
Even relatives. Everyone advised me to be careful in the
relationship. Especially my mom who never wanted anyone to hurt
my feelings. My friends got angry each time they saw both of us.
I took it to be jealousy.
Did the relationship last? No. Only for a short period. Not even
up to a year. We began to have problems and misunderstandings
with each other. I couldn't understand her anymore. Her speech
and her character changed. And she started dressing like a woman
of easy virtue. Her beauty began to wither away like the petals
of a flower whose stems and roots couldn't absorb water and
nutrients from the soil anymore. Everyone complained of her. And
I tried each time to caution and advise her, but she wouldn't
listen. Her stubbornness become worse. One thing I could
remember she says is: "This is me. This is my nature."
Forty-eight hours after regaining my consciousness from an
accident that almost took away my life; I visited her again with
a friend who decided to accompany me to the campus. Seeing me
leaping my leg like a disabled fellow, she never asked what was
wrong with me.
I felt the pains within me. Tears rushed out shamelessly from my
eyes like a-day-old child who was denied breast feeding by his
mother. Hoping that she was going to reverse her decision of
quitting the relationship, she looked into my eyeballs,
stretched her right hand and handed me something. But behold, it
was a ring—the engagement ring that I had earlier given to
her—that I saw in my palm. Not knowing what to say, I
dried up the tears from my eyes. She looked at me again as one
without feelings at all, telling me, "it is over." I close my
eyes for a few seconds, thinking of what to say before she
leaves. But before long, she was gone. Walking majestically.
Like an innocent baby.
Love. I've known what it is. Maybe disguise. Or a game of
chance. I don't want to play games with it. I'm scared to love
another, because it almost ruined my life. I don't want to meet
another lady that would ruin my life, but one that would support
me and take good care of me as my mother does. And one that will
be like an "angel" to me. One that will take me for who I am and
not for what I am not. One that will look straight into my eyes
and tell me she loves me too after I might have said same to
her. I need a girl that will walk side by side with me and not
be ashamed. One that when I'll look into her eyes would bring
peace to my soul. One that will live in peace and harmony with
me when I get married to her. One that will lengthen my
life-span. One that will take me up when I'm down. One that will
nurse me when I'm sick.
For I do not want a girl that will think of separation or
divorce when little things go wrong. Like the girl in my
college. No. I do not want her.
DD Phil is a romance writer. His book titled "How to Marry your
Spouse" is coming soon. Mailto: affectionatewriter@yahoo.com