Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle
By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity candle, but
did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose
from when planning your wedding?
Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever, in
reality it's only about ten years old. During those years, more
"two-become-one" motifs have arrived to round out the theme.
Unification ceremonies are not only a symbol of togetherness,
they're also flexible elements of a wedding. These ceremonies
can be "opened up" to include important family members, such as
the bridal couple's parents. Children from previous marriages
can play a part, as can the entire congregation in a smaller
wedding. Candle and rose ceremonies are common choices for
adapting in this way.
Unification ceremonies can also be "stacked." It's not unusual
to find a wedding that includes a hand and water ceremony, for
example, or a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples play music
during these ceremonies and others don't.
The timing of unification ceremonies varies by wedding, but they
most often take place directly before or after the exchange of
vows. These ceremonies may be especially important in
non-religious weddings, which may end too quickly otherwise!
Let's look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle ceremony:
* Rose Ceremony The rose ceremony is a flexible, informal
ceremony especially suited to an interfaith or non-religious
wedding, not to mention a garden wedding! In the rose ceremony,
bride and groom exchange a single rose as their first married
gift to each other. They are asked to recall this symbol of
their love during the more trying seasons of marriage.
* Hand Ceremony In the hand ceremony, the bride takes the
groom's hands in hers, palms up. The officiant invites her to
view his hands as a gift, and says: "These are the hands that
will work along side yours, as together you build your future,
as together you laugh and cry, and together you share your
innermost secrets and dreams."
The groom then takes the bride's hands, palm side up. The
officiant says, "They are the hands that will passionately love
you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to you all
the days of her life."
* Knot Ceremony In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal
couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to
give to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lover's knot, which
they may save to look back on later.
* Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies These are all mixing
ceremonies suited to a Unitarian or interfaith wedding. The sand
ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs, and is popular in
beach weddings. In each case, the bride and groom pour sand or
liquid from two separate vials into one. In the wine ceremony,
they drink the mixed wine.
A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the
groom pours red. You can then serve ros