How to Overcome a onfidence Crisis
As a business success coach I have worked with many people who
consider themselves successful and who are considered successful
by their peers. No matter how much you earn, how fast you find
yourself on the right track, or how often people compliment and
congratulate you and your work, you can have a confidence
crisis. Even people with high self-esteem and self-confidence
can suffer from a confidence crash. Sometimes, things happen
that knock the confidence right out of us.
A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition such
as getting a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new
business, or starting a new relationship. Life's losses can also
cause confidence to sink - the loss of a relationship, the loss
of a job, the loss of a big client, the loss of a dream we come
to realize will never happen.
At times, our confidence is already shaky as a result of a
transition or loss and a single incident like missing a
deadline, getting a bad haircut, or spilling coffee on a
document can send us storming out of the confidence cafe.
When you crash, it is usually because your daily diet of life
has not included enough confidence causing foods. Confidence is
like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only
store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to
take responsibility for planning your confidence meals and
making sure you have large enough portions.
When you have a confidence crisis, don't despair, don't reach
for the bottle of bourbon or the bon bons. Instead, start to use
some of these confidence-boosting techniques. Begin with at
least two, then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot
more than confidence - you will learn to love, honor and
appreciate yourself more and more.
Keep a Journal Keeping a journal is a great way to process, and
clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also
forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection
can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and
what you still need to pay attention to.
Show Gratitude Practice gratitude - be thankful for what you
already have and put your attention on all the blessings you
already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal.
Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will
help you feel richer and stronger in character and that
translates into confidence.
Use Affirmations Affirmations work. Write a list of statements
that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as,
"I get more confident everyday" "new clients come to me easily",
"I am an expert at what I do". State all affirmations in the
present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I
also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and
over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.
Evaluate Your Relationships Assess the relationships in your
life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships
change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have
relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy,
it may be time to sever your ties - or at least loosen the reins.
Start New Relationships Identify people that have the qualities
you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could
learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with.
Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be.
Get into a Good Group This may be time for a traditional support
group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might
be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and
support each other in making changes.
Change Your Behavior What do you do that boosts your confidence
and what do you do that brings it down. Exercise, getting enough
sleep, speaking your mind and dressing well are behaviors that
tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your
time with Ben and Jerry, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation
when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence
down.
Speak Up When we withhold communication because we are afraid of
how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our
confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences.
Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be
practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.
Take a Risk A Day A risk is something you would do in an instant
if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do
not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way
to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are
afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them
one by one.
Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence,
sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few
months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are
consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will
eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.