Embracing The Late Wife
EMBRACING THE LATE WIFE
In the beginning of our relationship, my husband actually felt
comfortable
telling me about his late wife. There was an aura of mystery
about her,
mostly because I had not known her prior to her death. To sate
my curiosity,
I just wanted to know the answers to a few basic questions, and
my husband
was more than willing to oblige me. We were still in that
"getting to know
you" stage of newfound love, so he had nothing to lose by
sharing some basic
background information with me about her - the "non-intimate
details" of his
late wife, such as where she attended school, what job she held
prior to her
death, the cause of her death, etc.
So, for that time being, I was satisfied with just knowing the
basics.
Soon after marrying him, however, knowing more about her became
an
addiction that needed satisfying and a hunger to be sated.
The Obsession to Know Her
I remember exactly when the obsession took shape. During the
first
week of our marriage, I found a folder in his old filing
cabinet, and in it
were signed papers for an adoption process. Apparently,
unbeknownst to
me, he and his late wife had actually attempted to become the
adoptive
parents of a child. I looked at the date, and was saddened to
see that the
papers were filed in between the time she discovered she had
cancer and her
actual death.
Perhaps this meant that she regretted not having any biological
children
of her own with him, and now wanted to share parenthood with him
before
she passed away, leaving a legacy of herself behind.
Whatever her reasons, I was taken aback. Previously, my
husband's late
wife had been, in my na