The Top Ten Things I Learned from My Garden
1. Weed.
Planting seeds means that at some point you're going to have to
remove some of the plants so that other ones have the chance to
grow and thrive. In the same way, you only have so much space in
your life and you need to get rid of the tolerations so you can
have the room and the nutrients and the self-care to thrive and
grow. In the same way that you let the bigger, stronger plants
stay, concentrate on your strengths and let them grow.
2. If you keep doing what you've been doing you're going to keep
getting what you've been getting.
There's a place in my garden that just needed a rose bush. I
planted 5 there. It's like a blackhole. I went on to try other
plants. Whatever I planted there died, and no matter what
fertilizer, extra watering or xteme care I gave, I was finally
forced to admit that for some reason nothing was going to grow
there. I gave up what was essentially an ego position and went
with the flow. It now is the place for my garden statuary.
3. On the other hand, If it ain't broke, don't fix it -- and
don't listen to other people!
I have another place in my garden where the geraniums thrive all
year round. My sister stayed with me a week and she didn't feel
like I was watering my garden enough. I started watering the
geraniums and now they are spindly and their leaves have turned
pale and I question their survival. It seems they were thriving
on my benign neglect and were very happy with the way things
were.
4. Stay in touch with the soil and water. Stay in touch with
life.
Some of my most peaceful moments take place in my garden. I
don't wear gloves and I take off my shoes and walk in the mud
and turn the soil with my bare fingers. I work with people and
with ideas, and bringing my body in contact with the soil keeps
me grounded.
5. There's a time to reap and a time to sow.
You'll learn the old elemental cycles of nature. There will be
those magnificent sparkling snapdragons for just a few moments
in the spring, panseys when it's too cold for anything to grow,
and chrysanthemums in the fall bringing back memories of high
school football games and mum corsages. Eventually the tomato
crop will come in and when they die, it'll be time to plant the
broccoli. It's our traditions and the cycles of the year that
bring meaning and order to our lives.
6. Delight in the abundant surprises of nature.
The rose bush didn't grow, and the impatiens didn't take off,
but a crepe myrtle arose, a shoot from another one about 5'
away, when I had no idea they propagated; and the biggest
surprise of all -- out of nowhere some chile petines arrived. I
have no idea where they came from, but they're welcome as the
day is long. Nature provides.
7. Nothing tastes as good as something you grew yourself.
Invest yourself in what you're doing and it will always taste
better. It's the projects you really work hard on that have
meaning.
8. Find a partner who compliments you.
One year the man in my life and I had a vegetable garden. I
planned it, with my usual enthusiasm, and plotted everything
out. He dug the holes and planted what I'd planned with not much
enthusiasm, but a sort of dogged determination. I watched the
things come up and was thrilled, and then lost interest. He was
the one who faithfully watered, and weeded, and fertilized and
kept the crops going with no imagination, just hard work. Then
when the harvest came in, I cooked up great things. He liked the
meals and pronounced the garden a Good Thing after all. I'm a
Strategist who likes to plan things all out and then turn it
over to someone else, someone who's not a dreamer, to implement
it. We were a good team. Now the garden is all mine and I
appreciate all the more his former contribution. He may never
dream and vision as I do, and I may never have a taste for doing
the same thing day in and day out as he did, so we made a good
team and each learned things from the other to incorporate into
our lives.
9. Thorns and beetles and hornets and snails and worms.
I have cuts and scratches on my hands and arms, like the
wrinkles on my face -- signs that I've lived and been in touch
with life. When I go out to the garden I meet all sorts of
critters that are part of life on this planet and my companions
on the journey. There are bugs that want to eat the roses; and
snails, whose function I do not know; and worms that are making
it all possible; and hornets I must avoid. They quietly go about
their daily business, intent on their own thing, which may or
may not conflict with mine, and sometimes we meet.
10. Butterflies.
Butterflies, like happiness, just come and light on your
shoulder. Though I planted a Butterfly Bush, it didn't attract
butterflies, but other things have. From time to time (I think
it's a migration) butterflies arrive in my garden while I'm
doing other things. I can't predict their arrival, and my
attempts to summon them didn't work, but still they come! I
can't make it happen, but I can count on it happening just the
same. Like happiness. When it's least expected it will arrive.