Punctuation Check-Up: The Doctor Will See You Now
Terminal Punctuation Disease
It's a real problem. But fortunately, there's help. No, you
won't find it in an online pharmacy, and you don't have to cross
the border. Just sit back and pay attention.
Ending, or terminal, punctuation marks always go inside
quotation marks. For example:
"John said he'd do that on Tuesday," said Mary.
The quoted line of dialogue ends in a comma, since the sentence
isn't really finished until the period after Mary. The word
said is not capitalized.
"Where are you going?" asked Jane.
Jane is asking a question; therefore, you can't substitute a
comma for the quesiton mark without losing meaning. You still
don't capitalize the word asked.
"I'm going to check up on him." Mary grabbed her keys. "I want
to be sure he's done it."
Here, the word Mary starts a new sentence. The periods in
the quoted lines of dialogue go inside the quotation marks.
Like every other rule in English, there are exceptions:
Have you ever seen a "jackalope"? I've never seen a "jackalope."
In American English (because of fairly archaic typographical
conventions), a period always goes inside all quotation marks.
But a question mark that is not part of the phrase or sentence
inside the quotation marks rightfully belongs on the outside.
Get Your Annual Semicolon Checkup Here!
I'm not sure why the poor semicolon gets such a bad rap, and is
so underused, overused, and generally abused by writers. It's
simple, really.
First, we'll look at different ways to join two independent
clauses. Independent clauses are basically phrases that could
stand alone as sentences in their own right, but are so closely
joined in thought that they ought to be married, or at least
shacking up. For example:
Mary loved her red shoes. They made her feet look dainty.
There is nothing at all wrong with leaving these individual
sentences alone, except that one completes the other, and apart,
they look choppy.
Next, you decide how you want to join them:
- with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor,
but, or, yet, so);
- with a semicolon by itself;
- with a semicolon, a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore,
nevertheless, finally), and a comma; or,
- with a semicolon, a transitional phrase (as a result, in
other words, for example, in fact), and a comma
Joining them with a comma, by itself, creates the dreaded
comma splice.
"And what is so awful about that?" you ask.
A comma splice is awkward, because the reader gets halfway into
the second sentence before it dawns on them that the first
sentence is completed. A comma, alone, isn't designed to signal
the transition from one completed thought to the next.
So, you could write either of the following:
Mary loved her red shoes, and they made her feet look dainty.
Mary loved her red shoes; they made her feet look dainty.
There are other uses for the semicolon, of course. You can use
it to separate complex list items. Perhaps you have the
following on your grocery list: a pat of butter; two pounds of
chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream; three pounds of
chopped walnuts, lightly glazed; and so on. This is very useful
when the list items, themselves, contain commas. Try writing the
previous list, using commas instead of the semicolons, and
you'll see what I mean. Do I want two pounds of chocolate? A
bottle of vanilla extract? How much strawberry ice cream? Or do
I want two pounds of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice
cream?
Semicolons do have their detractors. It's only fair to warn you
that some writers could happily live their entire lives without
employing the hard-working semicolon.
Better a Colon than a Fleet Enema
Did you notice that I introduced that grocery list, above, with
a colon? Slipped that in on you, didn't I? Might as well cover
the colon while we're at it because it's even simpler than the
semicolon, and it's quite useful at times. Think of the colon as
the ambassador of punctuation, introducing the reader to a word,
a phrase, a whole sentence, a quotation, or a list. For example:
Joe said he only wants three things for Christmas: world peace,
a healthy baby, and a new MP3 player.
Jayne said it best: "My friends will always come first, for
without them, there's no joy in life."
He excels in only one thing: procrastination.
Note this carefully: you must never use a colon right after a
verb. If you say "My favorite TV shows are ER, C.S.I., and
Little House on the Prairie," the verb are is performing
the introduction, so the semicolon would be redundant. Try
saying "namely" in place of the colon. If the sentence reads
fairly smoothly, then chances are, you're using it right. If it
reads as smoothly as a pig walks on stilts, try eliminating the
colon or rephrasing the sentence.
Dieresis
If you read "dieresis" and thought I was going to discuss kidney
ailments, just close the browser and back away slowly... If you
know what a dieresis is, you're good to go - you can take off
the little paper gown and pay the receptionist on your way out.
The dieresis is a diacritical mark (two dots) placed over the
second vowel in a pair of vowels to indicate that it is
pronounced as a separate and distinct sound, rather than as a
diphthong (two vowels blended together like sour cream and
onion) or a silent vowel; for example, co