Screenwriting With Impact
The screenplay you've pounded out on your trusty word processor
is finished at last! Before the reader even looks at the title
of your script, it must pass the "rifle test." The rifle test
tells a professional in seconds whether the script is
professionally written or not. Is the screenplay in the right
format? Does it look like it was written by a professional
screenwriter? Is the script vertical?
The Rifle Test
Hollywood screenwriters know that a reader, agent or producer
can tell instantly by fanning the pages back to front if your
script is professionally written and in the proper format. Your
script will not even get a read at an agency or get studio
coverage if it doesn't look right. The typical development
executive reads 35-50 scripts a week on their own time, away
from the office. After reading hundreds and hundreds of scripts,
they can see at a glance if it looks right. If it's not right,
it's dumped. It's that simple. If you use a good screenwriting
program, then this is an area you won't have to worry about. If
you don't have one, at least follow the rules. They're
relatively simple. They're also hard and fast and not meant to
be deviated from, so don't "improve" upon the formula, just use
it. You can get the layout details at ScriptNurse.com for free.
Before you get the screenplay down on paper, watch out for
"speed bumps" that are practically guaranteed to stop the reader
in his tracks. Remember, there are only TWO TOOLS to work with
in writing a screenplay:
* ACTION: a description of what is seen on the screen visually *
DIALOGUE: what the characters say
Here are some rules and do's and don'ts for writing your
screenplay with impact:
Action Description Tips
Don't direct or act: Directors don't like to be told how to
shoot a scene. Besides, a good director might do it better than
you suggest in the script. Actors don't like to be told how to
act, so don't tell them how to play the scene in your script. By
using techniques to make your script more "vertical" you can
lead the director and the reader where you want them to go.
Break up paragraphs into smaller ones so that each paragraph
implies a shot. "we see" or "we hear" sounds like you're
directing, so don't use them. Instead, the the technique of
making your script "vertical" to accomplish the same thing.
Kill the camera: Remove all references to camera movement and
angles. If you have to do it more than once or twice in an
entire script, there's something wrong with the way you're
writing it. Eliminate any "we see" or "we hear" references
because "we" don't see or hear. Write the visual action the
audience will see on the screen or the words the actors say. The
simplicity of screenwriting is what makes it so hard to do. Use
the "vertical" technique to lead the reader through the shots.
The verb "is" implies a state of being that cannot be
photographed. Only visual action can be put on the screen. Any
reference to whom "is thinking," "knows about," "wants to be,"
or "looks like" needs to be rewritten. Action description
doesn't have to be perfect English. This isn't a novel. It DOES
have to be colorful, descriptive and visual so the reader can
"see" in their heads what you want seen on-screen.
Use strong language and avoid passive voice writing: "Fred is
running around crazily" is weak compared to "Fred runs, flailing
his arms frantically." Look for any descriptions that talk about
"is" or "being." That's weak writing. Make it colorful! Use
simple, colorful, visual words. Don't convert verbs into nouns
as in the example above. The verb is "runs" -- keep it a verb
and you'll have stronger, present tense writing.
Eliminate CUT TO: in your script. It's already implied when you
show a new scene heading anyway.
Character Development
If they're good, make them very good. If they're bad, make them
really bad. This makes your characters easier to identify with
and clearer in the mind of the script reader. We all want to
know who to root for and who to despise. Don't make it hard to
figure out. It can always be "dumbed down" later.
Write backstories for your characters. Create their past lives
and family history. Note their quirks, habits (good and bad),
flaws, compulsions, fears, phobias and dark secrets. List things
that scare them in the night. Write down every skeleton in their
closet. Include parents and siblings, if appropriate. Write down
traits others might see as good, redeeming and to be admired.
What makes them likeable? What makes others immediately not like
them? These all work together to help you understand your
characters. It makes them come alive. Creating a past lets you
create a future in your screenplay that's real and plausible.
Having this understanding leads to you knowing that a character
would or wouldn't "do that" or "say that." For example, everyone
knows that Indiana Jones has a phobia about snakes that gives
him pause. Since he's bigger than life, he faces his fear, but
because he has a common phobia, we can all identify with him
easily.
Try "casting" your script with a dream cast. Cast each principal
role with the biggest name you can think of who is perfect for
the part. See that $20 Million Star as the character you're
writing. Get their photos and stick them up on a wall with their
character name above the photo. When you've got Jack Nicholson
speaking your lines, you find out very quickly the kinds of
things he simply could not do or would not say.
Real vs. Reel Dialogue
There's real dialogue and "reel" dialogue. If you want real
dialogue, just go outside, where there's plenty of it. Reel
dialogue in film is different. It's terse and more direct
without being "in your face" or "on the nose." Here's where
reading good, quality scripts can really help you. If you need
help with dialogue, I recommend getting a great dialogue tool
called Great Dialogue (www.greatdialogue.com).
Rule of Thumb: In a properly formatted script, if there are more
than five lines of dialogue under a character name, it's
starting to become a speech. Too many speeches and your script
becomes too "talky."
Strike every "well," "now," "listen," "oh," etc. that you find
in your dialogue. Actors put those in where it's natural to do
so and they only make a script harder to read.
Delete the "pleasantries" and "chit-chat" from scenes. You're
just wasting time, boring the reader and keeping them from your
story.
Act it out: say the lines out loud as you write them. It's
amazing how much this helps.
Let's Start Hacking
It's time to get rid of the weak, passive and pointless from
your script. Start by making a backup copy of the script before
you get out the hacksaw and start chopping everything to pieces.
Your story might be too long, wanders aimlessly, or lacks
impact. Let's thin it out without gutting it. Do this:
1. Strike every "well," "now," "listen," "oh," etc. that you
find in your dialogue. Get to the subject at hand and cut to the
chase. Cut out the unnecessary clutter in what your characters
say. You can always put it back in if the producer wants it.
Actors hate to be told how to act and producers hate reading
about that, too.
2. Look for parentheticals (instructions to the actor in
parentheses in the dialogue). Hack them out. Use them ONLY when
there's no other way to indicate that a particular line is
directed to a specific character out of several in the same
scene or if it cannot be done by carefully selecting the words
for a character. Parentheticals are speed bumps in a script.
Avoid them entirely if possible.
3. See just how terse you can make the dialogue. Terseness helps
to create impact and makes characters seem more forceful and
decisive in a drama and funnier in a comedy. When it gets to the
point where you're feeling a little uncomfortable with the
directness, it's probably about right.
4. Review the action descriptions. Any "is" or "being"
description needs to be re-written to give it impact. Strike
references to ANYTHING not seen on the screen, like reminding
the reader that "so-and-so was the same guy who..." -- you get
the idea. If it can't be seen: HACK IT OUT! Think in master
scenes. It's okay to write the interior and exterior scenes at
one location as one scene. Use a separate action description
paragraph to signal a separate shot without explicitly saying
so, to let the reader know we went outside, if you started with
INT. BAR - NIGHT. It's a LOT easier to read that way.
5. Find every instance of a simple word and give it more impact.
Get simple, colorful language in your descriptions. Cars don't
just "pull up at the curb." They also gasp, lurch, grind,
shudder, gurgle, clatter and expire at the curb. Get a good
thesaurus or use the one built into your screenwriting or word
processing program. The point is -- use it! Also, eliminate big
words not commonly used in everyday speech unless it's part of a
character's persona.
By now, you should have thinned things out a LOT. Good. You're
down to meat and potatoes, if you're lucky. Your script should
be more visual, carry more impact and possess tight, crisp
dialogue. Now set it aside for at least a week, preferably two.
When you come back in one or two weeks, start again and repeat
the process. You're done when you run out of things to hack out.
Making Your Script Vertical
A reader is looking for any excuse to dump your screenplay on
the ever-growing reject pile. One way to do this is to look for
the amount of white space that is seen when doing the "rifle
test." Vertical scripts have more white space. How do you make a
script vertical? Just break up the densely packed paragraphs
into two or three sentence paragraphs. There's a side benefit to
this approach, too. All of these smaller paragraphs serve to
imply the shots that are needed. It's not good to tell a
director how to direct, but it's not bad to lead him down the
path. You can do this by the way you write the script and by
making it vertical.
Conclusion
There you have it: a few approaches, do's and don'ts, exercises
and suggestions. I hope you will put the exercises to a test.
You might be very surprised at the results. Perhaps there's a
better script inside the one you're working on just waiting to
get out.