WRITERS CAN GROW TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH CRITICISM
On my first newspaper assignment as a critic, I was well
prepared to dish it out. I was less prepared to take it. Imagine
my surprise when my witty, well-crafted critique drew a
smattering of letters filled with name-calling and nasty words.
It stung. Could the critic handle criticism? I discovered that
with some emotional discipline and introspection, I could not
only handle criticism, I could grow from it. Here's how.
Allow yourself to feel hurt--briefly. It's natural to be shocked
and hurt by criticism. Recognize it, feel it but don't allow
yourself to wallow in it. Knowing you have a technique for
dealing with criticism allows you to put the breaks on hurt
feelings as you move on to the next step.
Consider the source. All critics can be divided into three
categories. The critic can be a crank, someone that lives in
pain and feels the need to spread it around. The critic can be a
self-appointed expert. Such people feel they have a duty to
point out other people's shortcomings. Or the critic can be a
mentor, someone whose thoughtful, objective opinion can help you
improve your performance.
Deal with it. If your critic is a crank, recognize that such
people attack anyone or anything that draws their attention. Say
a prayer for them as you put their remarks through your mental
paper shredder. If your critic is a self-appointed expert,
consider their motivation. Does it seem they honestly want to
help you improve? Or is their purpose to disparage you so they
can feel superior? In either case, their criticism may hold a
grain of truth. Be open to looking for it. But if you sense your
critic needs to drag you down so they can lift themselves up,
raise your emotional barriers. Consider any aspect of their
criticism that seems valid, but don't allow them to shake your
sense of self-worth. Hopefully, your critic is the third type, a
mentor, someone whose opinion you can respect. Their criticism
is well thought-out and deserves your serious attention.
Consider what they say and see if it offers you an opportunity
to improve an actual flaw.
Move on. Take what valid points you can from your critic. Decide
whether or not you want to use the criticism as an opportunity
for self-improvement, then move on. If you find yourself
dwelling on criticism, allowing it to drain your energy and
confidence, shut the door on it. Visualize your critic, or their
letter, framed in a doorway. Imagine yourself shutting the door
with a satisfying slam, hearing the click of the lock and
walking away. See the door getting smaller and smaller until it
disappears in the past. This signals your self on many different
levels that you're closing the door on the event and moving on.
Writers of any kind will always be met with criticism. You don't
have to like it, but you can refuse to be wounded by it.
Learning to handle criticism in a calm and self-confident spirit
will help you grow as a writer and as a person.