What causes people to shut down and disengage from conversation?
Due to the power differential between leaders and their team
members, leaders must learn not only how to tolerate criticism,
but also to restrict their criticism of others. When we are
criticized, we feel like our bodies are under attack. This fear
or panic causes our prehistoric, reptilian brain to flood with
blood. Rational thought is restricted, and, instead, we
concentrate on our bodily impulses: fight or flight. A "flooded"
person (whether it is the leader or a team member) is of little
use when there is a problem to be solved.
Debra, a COO of a very large food manufacturer in the
Southwest, grew tired of notifying department heads about
problems she found, like the shortened shelf life of a potato
that was roasted in a new oil. "I want to know what we are doing
to solve this problem!" she would demand at the beginning of a
meeting. "And why didn't anyone bring this problem to my
attention?" She ranted and railed because she wanted her team to
detect and solve these problems in the future. Unfortunately,
all they heard was "She is out to find someone to blame!" Their
brains subsequently flooded and they shifted into defense mode.
I invited Debra to consider a question-based approach to
generate behavioral change. Rather than calling out individuals
in a public setting (which creates more tension and, therefore,
quicker flooding), here is what I suggested she do:
1. Speak with individual department heads when you
detect a problem in their specific areas.
2. Start by asking a general question ("How are things
going in your area?").
3. Keep an open mind. If you let the team member dictate
the conversation, you might learn that there are problems that
dwarf the potato shelf-life issue. Or you might find that the
shelf life was a concession made as part of a larger
cost/benefit calculation. Or you might find that the team member
has been having personal problems that could be contributing to
his or her poor performance.
4. If you feel like the team member is holding back
information, ask a slightly more specific question (What are the
top five priorities in your department right now?). You might
learn that the problem with the shelf life was already detected.
If so, you would now know who detected the problem, how, and
when. With this information, you could set about correcting this
systemic problem.
5. If the team member does not consider the shelf-life
issue the top priority, ask why. You might find that you need to
re-order your priorities as a result.
6. It the team member's answer still does not take into
account all the consequences you foresee, drill down one level
deeper with your questions (What impact will the shelf-life have
on inventory?).
Even constructive criticism can feel like an attack. By asking
questions, you disarm the reptilian-brain functions. No longer
will team members be paralyzed by fight-or-flight responses.
They will be prepared to work with you to detect and solve
problems.