How to Create Instant Rapport with Your Interviewer
Getting an interview is hard enough. You've already spent time
and effort writing your resume and distributing it. Now you've
got to the all important interview. Only one person will get the
job so you owe it to yourself to make the best possible
impression. If you can make yourself instantly likeable you will
have an important head start.
Ever noticed how lovers in a bar will sit facing each other
across a small table and adopt the same pose. Their
synchronicity indicates a desire to be in tune with each other.
As one changes position watch how the other will soon adopt the
same new position so that their bodies remain synchronized.
This behaviour is called mirroring because they place their
bodies so that they are a mirror image of each other. And this
behaviour isn't just confined to lovers. Watch a small group of
people in any meeting, whether social or business, and you'll
soon be able to tell who is in tune with whom and the ones that
are feeling less comfortable with their companions.
Next time you are with someone make a point of adopting the same
body position. If they are standing at a bar with one elbow on
the bar and their ankles crossed, stand next to them in the same
pose. You may be surprised at how quickly they respond more
warmly towards you.
As they change posture wait a few seconds and then slowly slide
into their new position. Don't be shy because they won't
consciously notice that your movements are deliberate. But their
subconscious will be aware and interpret your mirroring as a
friendly gesture. They will also feel safer facing someone who
looks the same.
The first time I heard about this technique I was somewhat
skeptical. I had to attend a business meeting with someone many
miles away so I thought I would try mirroring him on the basis
that if he realised what I was doing or reacted unfavourably it
wouldn't matter much as at least I wouldn't have to make the
same long journey again.
I decided that I would mirror him but not lead our discussion.
Instead I would let him do all the talking and only talk when
necessary. We sat on opposite sides of his desk and right from
the beginning I adopted his pose. Each time he changed position
I would follow within a minute or so. He was a smoker but I am
not so I held a pen whilst he smoked.
Our meeting began at two o'clock and I thought it would last
about an hour or an hour and a half at most. But I was in for a
big surprise. After two hours there was still no sign from him
that our meeting should end.
For my part I was intrigued at how well we were getting along.
He kept telling me how pleased he was that I had come so far to
meet him and how much he was enjoying our conversation. This was
a surprise especially since I had hardly spoken.
When it got to half past five I had to interrupt and make my
apologies for bringing our meeting to a close. Again he thanked
me profusely for visiting him.
Clearly the fact that I had been a good listener was very
important but without my mirroring I do believe he would not
have felt so at ease with me. Since then I have mirrored people
in all sorts of situations and have always had a positive
response.
More recently I have introduced mirroring to job candidates who
have all found it beneficial. It even works if you are being
interviewed by a board. As a board member asks a question,
swivel in your seat to face the questioner and at the same time
slide your body into the same posture they have.
Mirroring happens unconsciously between people who like each
other. By deliberately mirroring you are simply showing that you
are in tune with another with the result that you will receive a
positive response.
Try it with the next person you meet. Once you are sure of its
beneficial effect you will have the confidence to use it at your
next interview. Of course you will still have to prepare for the interview and answer the
interview questions correctly but mirroring will certainly tip
the balance in your favour.