CAREER CHANGE AND LETTING GO TO GROW!

Changing one's lifestyle, or indeed one's job, or career, in the middle of one's life, or as one approaches fifty or even sixty - or at whatever age! - takes a great deal of courage. Perhaps it was male menopause that made me leave the secure job I had held for ten years as Professor and Head of the English Department at the University of the North in South Africa. Perhaps it was just the need for change, for renewal. It was a struggle to come to the decision, but finally I did it - I let go! My wife Carol and small son moved to England ahead of me, and finally I resigned my job. I recall the amazement of one of the university secretaries who came up to my table in the canteen. 'A senior professor doesn't just resign!' she exclaimed. My students (all of them African) invited me to a farewell function in the Great Hall. There were five hundred of them. I was touched as they spoke of the 'great man' leaving them. I pointed out that the only way I could lay claim to greatness was by the size of my paunch. I gave them a little speech of my own, telling them not to be afraid to venture, to face change in a country that needed change. Much of this exhortation was to reinforce my own resolve to face change. I quoted Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken'. Again, I was at the crossroads, a junction in the road of life, and I had to make a choice. This time I was going to take that road not taken by the vast majority of commuters and the army of secure salaried personnel. An adventure, I'm told, is a journey with an unpredictable outcome, or uncertain finish. It's this mystery or unpredictability that gives it the dimension of fun, no doubt. The element of risk produces a frisson of excitement. True. But a successful undertaking must also have a clearly visualised goal, or objective. In a sense, success is a result of both - a marriage between risk and a strategy of careful planning. There is daring, on the one hand, and there is a clear objective, on the other. The risk is the walking on water, and the reaching out while on the water. Planning minimises the risk. Faith, in the end, eliminates it. Having resigned my job permanently, there was no more looking back. I had burned my last bridge. Now I found myself confronted by a whole new ball game! Until now I had always bought myself a return ticket to South Africa, valid for one year. Now, for the first time, I bought a one-way ticket to the United Kingdom! It felt good, as I waited for my flight at the airport. I was going home! Home was no longer in the past. Home was where I was going, in the imminent future! I was reminded of the Lord's advice: 'He who places his hand on the plough and looks back is not worthy of the Kingdom of God.' Life is certainly a practical training ground for the Kingdom! But what was going to be my new security - my new venture - in Britain? My wife Carol and I decided to buy a guesthouse or small hotel. Another phase of waiting was in store. We had bought a small house in Harrogate and it was six months before we had an offer on the house. Indeed, we came close to being deflected from our planned goal of a guesthouse or hotel. I was about to sign an agreement to enter an 'Art Shop' franchise. But on the morning of the very day I planned to sign the agreement and send my deposit for a thousand pounds, the phone rang. It was my garage mechanic. 'I believe your house is on the market?' he said. That evening he brought his wife around and, in the end, bought the house. While we waited for the exchange of contracts we resumed our search for a guesthouse or small hotel. We combed through many sale particulars. It was exciting, now, to identify our goal in terms of bricks and mortar, in terms of real geographical location and business viability. It was the excitement of seeing for the first time our objective - our visualised ideal in real life. It was like the first time I saw my Rolls Royce - a Polaroid picture sent through the post from a dealer in London, back in 1984. This time it was a picture on the sale particulars sent by an estate agent in Scotland. 'That's it!' I pronounced, as soon as my eyes fell on it. It was a Victorian villa in stone, in two stories, dormer windows on top. From that moment the goal possessed me. It matched up with the picture in my mind. I knew it existed somewhere - I just had to find it! Best of all, because our house in Harrogate had increased in value, the Kenmore Bank Hotel in Jedburgh was in our price range! The legal machinery rolled slowly but surely. But our offer on the hotel was accepted and, on the first day of March 1990, in the middle of a snowstorm, we moved into our hotel. It was just right for us, with private bedrooms and a private sitting room for the family. From the sloping lawn of the front garden, the elegant dining room and upper levels, we had sweeping, open views of Jedburgh Abbey, the Jed Water that flowed just below us, and the ancient town of Jedburgh. Surely the wait, even the interlude in the wilderness of frustration and separation from the family in South Africa, was worth it in the end. There are lessons to learn, of course, from this exercise in change. One lesson is the value of perseverance, of the tenacity of hope. It's not an easy ride, letting go of a secure income as one approaches fifty. I had to let go to grow, but not let go of hope. And, indeed, I'm regularly reminded that the most essential quality for survival, in any situation involving change, is a positive attitude. It's vital when circumstances alter, when new circumstances test one, pushing one beyond the point ever gone before. One's worst enemies are complacency, just sitting back, letting things happen, putting up with a bad lot, or holding back, even giving up, out of fear or a negative attitude. In her book Mind Magic Betty Shine speaks of the energy-producing power of a positive mind, and warns of the destructive, undermining energy of a negative mind. In some strange way a positive mind actually releases energy, to heal both body and mind, enabling one to survive the journey of change towards the new lifestyle that it pre-empts. How often I had thought, in that struggling time in Harrogate, of shipping all my belongings, and my money, back to the country I had left - the country in which I had been born! How comfortable it would have been to take advantage of the horrendous exchange rate, for going back it would be in my favour. I could have been a millionaire in rands! But I was often reminded of our Lord's words - he who puts his hands to the plough, and looks back, is unworthy of the divine Kingdom. And I had glanced back so often - just like the Israelites, longing for the fleshpots of Egypt in their journey through the wilderness. It's only human to look back. There were times when I thought of what I had given up - my comfortable suburban home, my swimming pool, my three cars including my Rolls; also, my caravan, my steady income, my pension. How unworthy I am of the Kingdom! And yet, this grand exercise in change, like life itself, is a training programme, no doubt for the Kingdom of God. Certainly change, like significant growth, is not easy. It was never meant to be. It's interesting how often my hotel guests asked me: 'But why did you do it? Why did you leave your academic career?' (Many of my academic guests would say: 'I wish I had done it!" One heartfelt observation came from a professor, an ex-colleague in South Africa: 'Charles, I envy you!') But in asking me the question 'why?', they certainly put their finger on a burning question. 'I don't know,' I have replied, at times: 'Because I hated marking papers and attending faculty meetings!' If I were feeling properly positive, I would say, 'Because it's what I wanted. It's what I aimed for.' But in those early months I often replied, truthfully, 'I don't know!' In the first months I often lay awake, asking myself the question. There were moments when I thought I was mad to do it! Change from a secure routine will invoke these sleepless nights, at first. These moments of panic can recur unexpectedly, unless they are countered by a sustained positive attitude! And a positive attitude, as Norman Vincent Peale has revealed in his works on positive thinking, is engendered by a disciplined programming of the mind with positive thoughts. Daily meditation on the following faith-engendering passages from the Bible, for instance, will release a powerful flow of healing energy: To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. (Heb. 11:1) No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him. (Heb. 11:6) We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus. (1 Thess.5:16) I assure you that if you believe and do not doubt, you will be able ... to say to this hill, 'Get up and throw yourself in the sea,' and it will. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. (Matt. 21:21-22) May the God of peace provide you with every good thing you need in order to do his will, and may he, through Jesus Christ, do in us what pleases him. (Heb. 13:21) ... if any of you lacks wisdom, he should pray to God, who will give it to him ... But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. (James 1: 5-6) I keep striving to win the prize for which Christ Jesus has already won me to himself ...; the one thing I do ... is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead. (Phil. 12-13) His angel guards those who honour the Lord and rescues them from danger. ... those who obey him have all they need. (Psalm 34:7-9) I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me. (Philip. 4:3) ... those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak. (Isaiah 40:31) If you remain in me and my words remain in you, then you will ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it. (John 15:7) ... be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things. So do not worry about tomorrow ... (Matt. 6:33-34) Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you ... (Matt. 7:7) Setting aside a 'quiet time' daily, early in the morning and also in the evening, to meditate on passages such as these, produces an effervescence of faith, of energy that heals the mind and makes one courageous to dare - to stretch out and grasp the opportunities at hand. The released energy turns one's eyes away from the past, or the turmoil in the present, or the anxieties of daily life. It recharges the mind and the failing heart, and turns one's face to the source of power. Faith is forward-looking - forward-working energy - like the faith of Peter walking on the water, keeping his eyes off the seething waves, fixed on Jesus, his hands reaching out for the strength of his arm. As I look back now, it took us seven years to effect the transition from a suburban housewife and university professor in South Africa to the owner-proprietors of a financially viable hotel in Scotland. Since then we purchased and sold two houses, paid off the mortgage on the hotel in full, and went on a world cruise with our two sons. After eleven years running the hotel we sold it and moved to the Highlands where we now run our separate editing/publishing and hotel-booking businesses, with a holiday home overlooking Clashnessie Bay in Sutherland. Had we been bolder, more daring, more trusting, perhaps, we might have achieved our goal in less time. But we had to overcome a collapsing economy in South Africa and currency restrictions designed to prevent emigration. But, at least, we persevered. And we have grown stronger in the process. We have learnt to overcome obstacles, to become spiritual opportunists and entrepreneurs, stepping out towards closed doors, finding the ones that God, in his divine plan and wisdom, was willing to open for us. Most important, it has been a transition from routine complacency, from commuter boredom, from political unease, to real job satisfaction and joyful fulfilment. (Extract from Have Anything You Really Really Want by Charles Muller. Further information at Diadem Books )