CAREER CHANGE AND LETTING GO TO GROW!
Changing one's lifestyle, or indeed one's job, or career, in the
middle of one's life, or as one approaches fifty or even sixty -
or at whatever age! - takes a great deal of courage. Perhaps it
was male menopause that made me leave the secure job I had held
for ten years as Professor and Head of the English Department at
the University of the North in South Africa. Perhaps it was just
the need for change, for renewal.
It was a struggle to come to the decision, but finally I did it
- I let go! My wife Carol and small son moved to England ahead
of me, and finally I resigned my job. I recall the amazement of
one of the university secretaries who came up to my table in the
canteen. 'A senior professor doesn't just resign!' she
exclaimed. My students (all of them African) invited me to a
farewell function in the Great Hall. There were five hundred of
them. I was touched as they spoke of the 'great man' leaving
them. I pointed out that the only way I could lay claim to
greatness was by the size of my paunch. I gave them a little
speech of my own, telling them not to be afraid to venture, to
face change in a country that needed change. Much of this
exhortation was to reinforce my own resolve to face change. I
quoted Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken'. Again, I was at
the crossroads, a junction in the road of life, and I had to
make a choice. This time I was going to take that road not taken
by the vast majority of commuters and the army of secure
salaried personnel.
An adventure, I'm told, is a journey with an unpredictable
outcome, or uncertain finish. It's this mystery or
unpredictability that gives it the dimension of fun, no doubt.
The element of risk produces a frisson of excitement.
True. But a successful undertaking must also have a clearly
visualised goal, or objective. In a sense, success is a result
of both - a marriage between risk and a strategy of careful
planning. There is daring, on the one hand, and there is a clear
objective, on the other. The risk is the walking on water, and
the reaching out while on the water. Planning minimises the
risk. Faith, in the end, eliminates it.
Having resigned my job permanently, there was no more looking
back. I had burned my last bridge. Now I found myself confronted
by a whole new ball game! Until now I had always bought myself a
return ticket to South Africa, valid for one year. Now, for the
first time, I bought a one-way ticket to the United Kingdom! It
felt good, as I waited for my flight at the airport. I was going
home! Home was no longer in the past. Home was where I was
going, in the imminent future! I was reminded of the Lord's
advice: 'He who places his hand on the plough and looks back is
not worthy of the Kingdom of God.' Life is certainly a practical
training ground for the Kingdom!
But what was going to be my new security - my new venture - in
Britain? My wife Carol and I decided to buy a guesthouse or
small hotel.
Another phase of waiting was in store. We had bought a small
house in Harrogate and it was six months before we had an offer
on the house. Indeed, we came close to being deflected from our
planned goal of a guesthouse or hotel. I was about to sign an
agreement to enter an 'Art Shop' franchise. But on the morning
of the very day I planned to sign the agreement and send my
deposit for a thousand pounds, the phone rang. It was my garage
mechanic. 'I believe your house is on the market?' he said. That
evening he brought his wife around and, in the end, bought the
house.
While we waited for the exchange of contracts we resumed our
search for a guesthouse or small hotel. We combed through many
sale particulars. It was exciting, now, to identify our goal in
terms of bricks and mortar, in terms of real geographical
location and business viability. It was the excitement of seeing
for the first time our objective - our visualised ideal in real
life. It was like the first time I saw my Rolls Royce - a
Polaroid picture sent through the post from a dealer in London,
back in 1984. This time it was a picture on the sale particulars
sent by an estate agent in Scotland.
'That's it!' I pronounced, as soon as my eyes fell on it.
It was a Victorian villa in stone, in two stories, dormer
windows on top. From that moment the goal possessed me. It
matched up with the picture in my mind. I knew it existed
somewhere - I just had to find it! Best of all, because our
house in Harrogate had increased in value, the Kenmore Bank
Hotel in Jedburgh was in our price range!
The legal machinery rolled slowly but surely. But our offer on
the hotel was accepted and, on the first day of March 1990, in
the middle of a snowstorm, we moved into our hotel. It was just
right for us, with private bedrooms and a private sitting room
for the family. From the sloping lawn of the front garden, the
elegant dining room and upper levels, we had sweeping, open
views of Jedburgh Abbey, the Jed Water that flowed just below
us, and the ancient town of Jedburgh.
Surely the wait, even the interlude in the wilderness of
frustration and separation from the family in South Africa, was
worth it in the end. There are lessons to learn, of course, from
this exercise in change. One lesson is the value of
perseverance, of the tenacity of hope. It's not an easy ride,
letting go of a secure income as one approaches fifty. I had to
let go to grow, but not let go of hope. And, indeed, I'm
regularly reminded that the most essential quality for survival,
in any situation involving change, is a positive attitude. It's
vital when circumstances alter, when new circumstances test one,
pushing one beyond the point ever gone before. One's worst
enemies are complacency, just sitting back, letting things
happen, putting up with a bad lot, or holding back, even giving
up, out of fear or a negative attitude. In her book Mind
Magic Betty Shine speaks of the energy-producing power of a
positive mind, and warns of the destructive, undermining energy
of a negative mind. In some strange way a positive mind actually
releases energy, to heal both body and mind, enabling one to
survive the journey of change towards the new lifestyle that it
pre-empts.
How often I had thought, in that struggling time in Harrogate,
of shipping all my belongings, and my money, back to the country
I had left - the country in which I had been born! How
comfortable it would have been to take advantage of the
horrendous exchange rate, for going back it would be in my
favour. I could have been a millionaire in rands!
But I was often reminded of our Lord's words - he who puts his
hands to the plough, and looks back, is unworthy of the divine
Kingdom. And I had glanced back so often - just like the
Israelites, longing for the fleshpots of Egypt in their journey
through the wilderness. It's only human to look back. There were
times when I thought of what I had given up - my comfortable
suburban home, my swimming pool, my three cars including my
Rolls; also, my caravan, my steady income, my pension. How
unworthy I am of the Kingdom! And yet, this grand exercise in
change, like life itself, is a training programme, no doubt for
the Kingdom of God.
Certainly change, like significant growth, is not easy. It was
never meant to be. It's interesting how often my hotel guests
asked me: 'But why did you do it? Why did you leave your
academic career?' (Many of my academic guests would say: 'I wish
I had done it!" One heartfelt observation came from a
professor, an ex-colleague in South Africa: 'Charles, I envy
you!') But in asking me the question 'why?', they certainly put
their finger on a burning question. 'I don't know,' I have
replied, at times: 'Because I hated marking papers and attending
faculty meetings!' If I were feeling properly positive, I would
say, 'Because it's what I wanted. It's what I aimed for.'
But in those early months I often replied, truthfully, 'I don't
know!' In the first months I often lay awake, asking myself the
question. There were moments when I thought I was mad to do it!
Change from a secure routine will invoke these sleepless nights,
at first. These moments of panic can recur unexpectedly, unless
they are countered by a sustained positive attitude! And a
positive attitude, as Norman Vincent Peale has revealed in his
works on positive thinking, is engendered by a disciplined
programming of the mind with positive thoughts. Daily
meditation on the following faith-engendering passages from the
Bible, for instance, will release a powerful flow of healing
energy:
To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be
certain of the things we cannot see. (Heb. 11:1)
No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God
must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him.
(Heb. 11:6)
We know that in all things God works for good with those who
love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:28)
Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all
circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in
union with Christ Jesus. (1 Thess.5:16)
I assure you that if you believe and do not doubt, you will
be able ... to say to this hill, 'Get up and throw yourself in
the sea,' and it will. If you believe, you will receive whatever
you ask for in prayer. (Matt. 21:21-22)
May the God of peace provide you with every good thing you
need in order to do his will, and may he, through Jesus Christ,
do in us what pleases him. (Heb. 13:21)
... if any of you lacks wisdom, he should pray to God, who
will give it to him ... But when you pray, you must believe and
not doubt at all. (James 1: 5-6)
I keep striving to win the prize for which Christ Jesus has
already won me to himself ...; the one thing I do ... is to
forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.
(Phil. 12-13)
His angel guards those who honour the Lord and rescues them
from danger. ... those who obey him have all they need. (Psalm
34:7-9)
I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that
Christ gives me. (Philip. 4:3)
... those who trust in the Lord for help will find their
strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will
run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak. (Isaiah
40:31)
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, then you will
ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it. (John
15:7)
... be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of
God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you
with all these other things. So do not worry about tomorrow ...
(Matt. 6:33-34)
Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock,
and the door will be opened to you ... (Matt. 7:7)
Setting aside a 'quiet time' daily, early in the morning and
also in the evening, to meditate on passages such as these,
produces an effervescence of faith, of energy that heals the
mind and makes one courageous to dare - to stretch out and grasp
the opportunities at hand. The released energy turns one's eyes
away from the past, or the turmoil in the present, or the
anxieties of daily life. It recharges the mind and the failing
heart, and turns one's face to the source of power. Faith is
forward-looking - forward-working energy - like the faith of
Peter walking on the water, keeping his eyes off the seething
waves, fixed on Jesus, his hands reaching out for the strength
of his arm.
As I look back now, it took us seven years to effect the
transition from a suburban housewife and university professor in
South Africa to the owner-proprietors of a financially viable
hotel in Scotland. Since then we purchased and sold two houses,
paid off the mortgage on the hotel in full, and went on a world
cruise with our two sons. After eleven years running the hotel
we sold it and moved to the Highlands where we now run our
separate editing/publishing and hotel-booking businesses, with a
holiday home overlooking Clashnessie Bay in Sutherland.
Had we been bolder, more daring, more trusting, perhaps, we
might have achieved our goal in less time. But we had to
overcome a collapsing economy in South Africa and currency
restrictions designed to prevent emigration. But, at least, we
persevered. And we have grown stronger in the process. We have
learnt to overcome obstacles, to become spiritual opportunists
and entrepreneurs, stepping out towards closed doors, finding
the ones that God, in his divine plan and wisdom, was willing to
open for us.
Most important, it has been a transition from routine
complacency, from commuter boredom, from political unease, to
real job satisfaction and joyful fulfilment.
(Extract from Have Anything
You Really Really Want by Charles Muller. Further
information at Diadem
Books )