The Listening Leadership Talk
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Summary: The Leadership Talk is an important tool for leaders of
all ranks and functions. But some of the most effective
Leadership Talks are not what leaders say but what the people
they lead say. Here are three ways to give what is often the
best kind of Leadership Talk, the Listening Leadership Talk.
The Listening Leadership Talk by Brent Filson
For more than 20 years, I have taught the Leadership Talk to
thousands of people worldwide. And maybe the most important
thing I've taught isn't about talking -- at least the leader's
talking.
I've taught there is a hierarchy of verbal persuasion. The
lowest levels, the least effective, are speeches and
presentations. The highest levels, the most effective, are
Leadership Talks.
I've taught that speeches/presentations communicate information;
Leadership Talks, on the other hand, have leaders establish
deep, human, emotional connections with audiences --
indispensable in achieving great results.
Of course, the Leadership Talk is by definition about talking.
But often there's a more effective dynamic to employ: listening.
Not passive listening -- but listening for one purpose, so the
other person gives you your Leadership Talk.
After all, it's not what you say that's important in a
Leadership Talk but what your audience does after you have had
your say.
And if they do the best thing not after you speak but after you
listen, then you have given one of the most effective Leadership
Talks of all -- a Listening Leadership Talk.
The Listening Leadership Talk focuses on what other people are
invariably interested in, themselves. (Who isn't interested when
they themselves are talking?) But here's the key: their simply
talking is useless to your leadership. It is only useful when
their talk is the talk you need for them to give.
Moving people from talking their talk to talking your talk --
and ultimately walking your walk --is the art of the Listening
Leadership Talk. Here are a few tips to make it happen.
(1) Use question marks. Asking questions encourages people to
reflect upon and talk about the challenge you face. After all,
we can't motivate anyone to do anything. They have to motivate
themselves. And they best motivate themselves when they reflect
on their character and their situation and are also given the
opportunity to talk about their reflections.
You may not like what they say; but often their answer is better
in terms of advancing their motivation and your results than
your full-stop sentence.
Furthermore, their answer may prompt them to think they have
come up with a good idea. People tend to be less enamored of
your ideas than they are of their own.
However, be aware of the difference between asking a question of
somebody and questioning them. When asking a question, you
communicate you're interested in the answer the person wants;
when questioning, you communicate you're interested in the
answer you want. And if the people you are interacting with
think you are there not for them but for yourself, you damage
the environment a Listening Leadership Talk can thrive in. (2)
Create a critical convergence. This will help you avoid the
"herding cats" syndrome. Once you get people talking, they may
be all over the map, talking about everything but what you want
to have talked about.
Keep things on track by establishing a critical convergence, the
joining of your enthusiasms and theirs so they're as
enthusiastic as you about meeting the challenges you face. Do
that by understanding their needs as problems and seeking to
have them voice solutions to those problems, solutions that
advance your leadership concerns.
For instance, at a police academy classroom, the instructor
passed a note to one of the recruits. It read, "CLEAR THIS
CLASSROOM OUT NOW!" The recruit started shouting, "Everybody out
of the room!" People looked confused. A few left. The remainder
stayed. The instructor gave the note to another recruit, who
pleaded, "Please, everybody out." Still, people remained there.
Then the instructor gave a note to a third recruit, who
developed a Listening Leadership talk by creating a critical
convergence. He asked, "What time is it?" "Quarter to twelve,"
someone answered. The recruit with the note simply shrugged and
in the silence, let the idea emerge. "Lunch break!" the recruits
called in unison and quickly cleared the room. Creating a
critical convergence establishes and environment in which the
Listening Leadership flourishes.
(3) Develop a Leadership Contract. This may be written -- from a
few ideas scribbled on a scrap of paper to a more formal typed
version calling for your signatures -- or the Contract may
simply be an oral agreement, sealed with a handshake. Clearly,
it's not a legal instrument -- nor should it embody legalese.
It's just a spelling out of the leadership actions you both
agree must be taken to accomplish your goal.
Here's the key: The best way to get that agreement is first to
have them talk about actions they propose to take. Make sure
they describe precise, physical actions. And not just any
actions but leadership actions. Discourage them from talking
about how they'll be doing tasks. Instead, encourage them to
talk about how they'll be taking leadership of those tasks.
(There is a big difference in terms of results generated between
doing and leading.) Then ask how they need to be supported in
those actions. Finally, ask them how those actions should be
monitored and evaluated. In getting answers to these questions,
you'll be putting together a Leadership Contract by giving a
Listening Leadership Talk.
The Leadership Talk is the greatest leadership tool. But the
tool has its gradations of effectiveness. Often your talking is
not as effective as your audience's talking. When your
Leadership Talk comes out of their mouths, not your mouth, you
may find you are raising your leadership effectiveness to much
higher levels.
2005