How an Autistic Child Changed A Career...For the Better
Typically, career choices are made based upon responsibilities,
compensation, or prestige where a businessperson makes a change
to get a higher salary, more responsibility, or greater
prestige. What about the situation, though, where the driver
behind a career choice isn't any of these; where it's the needs
of a child that drive the change? My choice was precisely that.
Trevor was a happy, normal, active baby. He was able to laugh,
coo, cry, and do all of the other normal things that his big
sister, Briana did at that age. To my wife Patty and me,
everything seemed to be just fine. At about age two, we noticed
that Trevor was hardly saying any words and was very into his
own world with puzzles, coloring, and videos. Over the next
couple of years, we took him to a speech therapist to help him
with his language and also enrolled him in a special-needs
preschool. During this time we noticed other peculiar
characteristics for a toddler; a strong desire for structure
(his preschool teachers called him "Mr. Rigid"), obsessive
fixations on various topics, and no real desire to associate
with other children. Yet Trevor was very easy in that he would
keep himself occupied for hours on end playing by himself and
acting out whatever imaginary things he could think of. It was
very perplexing to us.
When Trevor was five, we took him to specialists at the Autism
Center at the University of Washington who conducted a series of
tests to assess speech, cognitive understanding, and relational
behaviors. At the end of the assessment, one of the specialists
explained that Trevor had Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not
Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), a mild form of autism. This was
odd to us because we had associated autism with more severe
cases (think about Dustin Hoffman in "Rainman") where speech was
limited to non-existent at all and no real interaction between
the child and others. Trevor was able to speak and interact but
was about two years behind his peers developmentally. The
specialist explained that, while Trevor had many characteristics
of "normal" children, he saw the world as if peering through a
rolled-up newspaper; he had a narrow focus on the world and was
inattentive to things that didn't interest him or how other
people perceived him. To give you an example, think of Jack
Nicholson in the movie "As Good as it Gets". His character,
Melvin Udall, was a bright, successful author who was obsessed
with cleanliness, kept a very rigid schedule, did not walk on
sidewalk cracks, and was generally unaware of how he came off to
others. Though he wasn't labeled as such, Melvin could have had
PDD-NOS.
In some respects, knowing that Trevor had a milder form of
autism was a relief in that he could learn to control his
behaviors and be a high-functioning adult. In other respects,
though, having a milder form of autism puts him in a sort of
purgatory when it comes to other kids. He doesn't fit in a
traditional special-needs category yet he is clearly unique when
compared to other children. Had Trevor grown up prior to the
90's, his actions would have been viewed as a behavioral problem
and he would have been labeled a difficult child. The truth is
Trevor isn't a behavioral problem; he's just wired differently
than normal children.
Trevor's public elementary school was wonderful in working with
him; he qualified for special services and was able to get
one-on-one assistance with a special education teacher. While
we've been very appreciative of the attention the public school
system has afforded him through sixth grade, we grew concerned
about his transition to middle school. Through a lot of
discussion, we've decided the best thing for Trevor is to pull
him out of mainstream school in seventh grade and take on a more
customized home-school approach. In thinking through this, Patty
and I decided that, for Trevor to have the best opportunity to
succeed, we needed to share the teaching responsibilities. I had
spent eleven years at Accenture and was in my ninth year at
Microsoft and was very happy with my career. At the same time we
also realized the importance of giving Trevor the best possible
educational experience to secure his leading a normal adult
life. We decided it best for me to leave my secure, full-time
job at Microsoft to focus on a new career which gave us more
flexibility to tend to Trevor. It was at this same time that I
had written a book called The Project Management Advisor which
was in process of being published. I had also just started a
meals-delivered-to-your-door business called delBistro with a
friend. The timing seemed perfect to take the plunge and leave
Microsoft to build a new career as an author and entrepreneur
around ensuring Trevor gets what he needs to secure a normal,
happy adult life.
This past six months has been focused on me adjusting to my new
career as author and entrepreneur and us beginning research on
how we are going to approach home-schooling Trevor. Already I've
seen great benefit in being more available to my family and in
Trevor getting used to me being around more often. I've got
tremendous peace with the career choices that I've made and see
focusing on Trevor as being far more important than any
promotions or accolades I could have received at Microsoft or
some other traditional job. Our goal is to ensure that, by
September, we are positioned to home-school Trevor and that my
career activities don't interfere with our home-schooling
priorities. By the way, Trevor's social-butterfly-sister has
already made it very clear that home-schooling is not her cup of
tea so she'll stay in the public school system.
I realize that a choice like the one I've made when you have an
autistic child may not always be feasible. We've been very
blessed in having the financial means and opportunities to make
this decision. What I can say, though, is this investment in
Trevor's future will yield a return that is far greater than any
return I could be getting in a more traditional career and see
this as the smartest career choice I've ever made.