Unemployment Blues: Take Back Control
One of the most emotionally crippling aspects of unemployment
is the sense of powerlessness it engenders. Job layoff triggers
financial pressures, emotional distress, family turmoil, and
dashed career hopes. It is forced on us by unrelenting fate, an
emotionally disengaged employer, and economic currents that have
little to do with us personally. We feel that we have no control
over our situation, our lives, our future.
As we work through the anger, resentment, depression, and fear
which is the common lot of the jobless, we can take some steps
to regain our balance, reclaim a positive focus, and reassert
personal control.
1. Daily Routine.
We no longer have the structure of work to mold our days and
give meaning to our leisure time. In a very short period of
time, we start to drift. Our days are so much the same that we
no longer remember what day of the week it is. The line between
work and relaxation blurs. We don't work hard enough at our job
search so we feel guilty which spoils our play time. Nothing has
to be done immediately so we put it all off until tomorrow. Take
back control by designing, and maintaining, your own schedule.
Get up at the same time each morning, shower and get dressed as
if you are going to work. Map out your job hunting activities
and stick to the plan. Build in relaxation periods and stick to
those too. Having a regular routine, and a defined purpose
(finding work) helps you to continue to think of yourself as a
worker and a valuable, productive individual, both critical in
avoiding the descent into social oblivion prolonged unemployment
so often brings.
2. Physical Shape.
We eat when we are anxious. We eat when we are depressed. We eat
when we are upset. Couple these psychological urges to eat with
the fact that we no longer appear before coworkers' eyes each
day, have nothing to dress up for, and have seriously impaired
self-respect, and our weight balloons out of control. Fight back
by returning to a regimen of regular, healthful eating. So much
of our lives is out of our control right now that it is a relief
to find one area where we are in sole command. Cherish that
opportunity by eating sparingly, reducing the amount of time
spent in the kitchen, finding non-edible outlets for stress
relief. At the same time, start a limited but regular exercise
routine. It may not be something you enjoy but at last you have
the time to do it and all that huffing and puffing is a
wonderful way to temporarily banish your worries.
3. Personal Relations.
You don't really feel like socializing. You are so tense and on
edge that you take it out on those closest to you: your family.
Make the effort to compartmentalize your life between your
career strains and that of your family and friends. If you allow
the frustrations of the one to spill over into the other, you
are poisoning your best source of needed support and heading
towards the personal disaster -estrangement, divorce, violence -
that too frequently accompanies extended unemployment and the
wide-ranging destructiveness it spawns.
4. Job Search.
We have no control over when we receive a call for an interview
or get that job offer we want so much. What we can control is
where we spend our valuable energy. Submitting resumes for
openings advertised in the classifieds or on line should be a
very minor part of our job search. For every position listed,
hundreds of resumes may be submitted. Do the math and it is
revealed as similar to buying a lottery ticket - easy and fun to
do but unlikely to change your future. Spend your time more
wisely by networking with everyone you know (and everyone they
know) and calling on employers in your industry to identify
openings which have not yet been publicized. Your sense of
control arises out of being proactive: putting yourself in the
public eye, refusing to passively sit by the telephone awaiting
the call which never comes. You may be exhausted at the end of
the day, and frustrated if the negative reactions held no hint
of possibility, but you do have the self-satisfaction of knowing
that you have taken your fate into your own hands and will no
longer be relegated to the ranks of those who simply "watch and
wait."
5. Community Activities.
You may be relatively inactive in local events or deeply
committed to your community. In either case, now is the time to
intensify your level of activity. Since you can only
productively job search for a limited number of hours per week,
use the additional time to become connected. Volunteer for local
charities, schools, union halls, hospitals, any communal events
you can find. You control where you invest your time and efforts
and being productive, even in a small way, can help repair your
shattered self-esteem. Interacting with other volunteers is also
a whole new opportunity for networking and may indirectly lead
to that one golden opportunity you seek.
The world of unemployment, especially if prolonged, can be
emotional debilitating. By reasserting control over some aspects
of our lives, we can contain the damage inflicted on our psyche
and face the future proudly, recognizing that job loss is a
regrettable fact of life, not a personal failure.