How Jason Does It

There is a scene in slasher movies where the slasher/murderer/bad guy/what-have-you - like Jason Voorhes from the Friday the Thirteenth movies - is chasing the young nubile maiden through the woods, she's the virgin, of course because we know that they have the best odds of surviving to the next sequel. She has usually already taken a little damage and she is absolutely hauling tail along the trail, just running to beat the band and the slasher/what-have-you is striding slowly and purposely after her. The key word here is slowly. She stumbles and stuff, but even so, she is still going a lot faster than the guy who is chasing her. And then he catches up with her. Did you ever wonder how on earth he did that? I sure have. Even in the world of fake movies where mass murders are regularly committed at Summer camps, and it never makes the network news but instead has to be whispered as a story around a campfire, this couldn't happen. Faster still beats slower, or at least it should, wouldn't you think? Okay. I have the answer. You see, while the terrified virgin is fleeing the woods the awful slasher/or whatever is not, in fact, pursuing her through the woods, but rather he is intercepting her. The horrible killer is not following the exact path that she is but using his precise knowledge of the woods - gained from his years of lurking out there - to use the shortcut which is why he can afford to take his time because he wants to be fresh for when he finds her. And how does he know where she'll go? That's simple. Humans without the aid of maps or compasses have a tendnecy to go in large circles. I think people to go more towards the right than the left. It's just like rabbits do. Anyways, the awful, horrible slasher/killer/What-have-you only has a short jog to make to find his way to his victim. As far as the rest of the seemingly miraculous and superhuman things these guys do: I don't have the answer to that. Most of that is just bad screen writing, but you know what? If you're watching one of these movies in the first place you pretty much know you're not going to get Shakespeare. A little implausibility goes with the territory.