How Jason Does It
There is a scene in slasher movies where the
slasher/murderer/bad guy/what-have-you - like Jason Voorhes from
the Friday the Thirteenth movies - is chasing the young nubile
maiden through the woods, she's the virgin, of course because we
know that they have the best odds of surviving to the next
sequel. She has usually already taken a little damage and she is
absolutely hauling tail along the trail, just running to beat
the band and the slasher/what-have-you is striding slowly and
purposely after her. The key word here is slowly. She stumbles
and stuff, but even so, she is still going a lot faster than the
guy who is chasing her.
And then he catches up with her.
Did you ever wonder how on earth he did that? I sure have. Even
in the world of fake movies where mass murders are regularly
committed at Summer camps, and it never makes the network news
but instead has to be whispered as a story around a campfire,
this couldn't happen. Faster still beats slower, or at least it
should, wouldn't you think?
Okay. I have the answer. You see, while the terrified virgin is
fleeing the woods the awful slasher/or whatever is not, in fact,
pursuing her through the woods, but rather he is intercepting
her. The horrible killer is not following the exact path that
she is but using his precise knowledge of the woods - gained
from his years of lurking out there - to use the shortcut which
is why he can afford to take his time because he wants to be
fresh for when he finds her.
And how does he know where she'll go? That's simple. Humans
without the aid of maps or compasses have a tendnecy to go in
large circles. I think people to go more towards the right than
the left. It's just like rabbits do. Anyways, the awful,
horrible slasher/killer/What-have-you only has a short jog to
make to find his way to his victim.
As far as the rest of the seemingly miraculous and superhuman
things these guys do: I don't have the answer to that. Most of
that is just bad screen writing, but you know what? If you're
watching one of these movies in the first place you pretty much
know you're not going to get Shakespeare. A little
implausibility goes with the territory.