Why Elephants Hate Pigs, & Pigs Hate Romans

As you may or may not be aware, Elephants were the tanks of the ancient world. Wild Elephants were stalked by hunters, who incapacitated the gentle giants by hacking large chucks of flesh away from their legs (I know its gruesome but stay with me, it gets worse). Once captured, they were no use to the military due to their injuries and were instead used as breeding animals, lame studs if you will. Any offspring produced in this way were tamed and sold on to armies to become a fearsome spectacle used to frighten/destroy marauding tribes or other 'bad' guys. Every major army of the day used elephants, a seemingly unstoppable weapon. That was until one day, some insightful Romans noticed that Elephants were easily spooked by the sound of a squealing pig. Those clever Romans discovered they could turn this to their advantage by sending squealing pigs running towards their enemy's Elephants. However, pigs do no squeal on demand, so the simply answer was to set the little porky's on fire (told you it got worse) and let them loose on the battlefield!