Fashion and the Fisherman.
The one thing I have always enjoyed about fishing is that you
rarely see anyone wearing a tie.
I suppose there is the occasional urban lunchtime warrior who
might race from his cubicle to the Hudson river to get a few
casts in for some glow-in-the-dark fish, but ties are certainly
not the norm when it comes to suiting up for a days fishing on
the river.
When it comes to high fashion in the fishing world, a button up
fast drying high tech shirt is about as close to fashionable as
it gets.Unless of course you count the plaid jacket!!
As it is, I can't quite figure out the purpose of the necktie
anyway.
Who in their right mind would come up with a part of the male
wardrobe to wrap around your neck, and then cinch it up tight,
and consider this a vital part of the function of clothing.
For Gods sake,this is what they would do to condemned men just
before they drop the floor out from under them, to create a
rather discomforting constriction about the windpipe and neck.
I could understand it if the tie somehow held all our other
clothes up,like a belt, keeping our clothes from dropping to our
ankles in a useless gathering of cloth. As far as I know there
has also never been an instance of a tie keeping a shirt in tact
in high winds.
It's obvious the tie was invented by our female counterparts,
and is the ultimate payback for all our manly sins that we
commit everyday. I am sure it was produced under the guise of
"fashion" at some point, with some weak feeble argument that a
"gentleman" should always don a noose around his neck-lest he
become a barbarian!!
Other parts of the wardrobe I understand.
Shoes?
I understand shoes. They were developed to help protect our feet
from the hostile environment of thistles, weeds,pavement,and hot
coffee spills. Shoes make sense
Socks?
Protection from shoe rub and sneaky thistles approaching from
ankle height.
Pants?
Well, outside of not developing them with an expandable
waistband, pants have proven beneficial in adding warmth, again
providing protection from yet even higher thistles and stickers,
keeping the suns harmful rays off of pasty white anglo legs, and
protecting us from hot coffee spills. As an added benefit, they
also protect our eyes from viewing knobby knees and senior
citizens who might otherwise have been walking around in black
socks, Florisheims, and a loin cloth had pants not been invented.
Underwear?
The jury is still out on this benefit--BUTT-- we will give
underwear the benefit of the doubt.
Shirts?
Again, sun protection, warmth in the winter, and a place to hide
those man breasts and ape like features we men have worked hard
to develop. Keeps ketchup and mustard off our bellys also.
Hat?
We all know where the heat is going to escape. A brilliant
invention and very much like the thermos--it keeps you warm, it
keeps you cool, how does it know???
Coats, gloves,vests,belts,boots--hell-- even chaps, all seem to
have a function behind them.
But the tie?
Unless it was developed for men to have a permanently available
napkin, or snot rag---I see no purpose.
Actually, you could make the argument that fishermen are the
only men that SHOULD wear ties. As long as they were made of
sheeps wool, the flyfisherman could use the "fuzzy tie" to have
even a greater drying pad to keep his caddis, royal coachman,
and brindle bugs handy and at the ready for quick pattern change
out.
But enough about the tie.
Fashion, as a general rule has escaped the fishing world.
This is a world where despite the efforts of Orvis and L.L.
Bean, plaid is still the king, the t-shirt is still considered
standard issue and drab greens and brown tones rule the day.
Thank goodness, because I know the day is coming -when the Gods
of fashion will begin to turn the fishing world upside down with
trendy nouveau styles and colors.
Before long, tall, emaciated, high cheek boned beauties will be
"walking the runway", in Jordache waders showing us the latest
designs of, breathable yet flattering river wear, in
purple,yellow, floral and .......dare I say it....TAUPE!!
Especially since more and more women are taking up the sport of
flyfishing, can high fashion be far behind??
I'm not sure you can feel like a snappy dresser with fish
guts,bait,and slime all over you, but maybe with a diamond
encrusted net dangling from your hip you will feel properly
accessorized for an elegant evening on the river.
The fishing world has already come a long way when it comes to
fashion--or should I say style.Once upon a time, most fisherman
looked more like deck hands, wearing rubber waders with big
oversized boots at the bottom. You would slip these over your
jeans and big thick wooly socks and if was cold, that red and
black checkered jacket would keep you warm.It also helped to
hide the tobacco juice stains you would invariably always spit
on yourself while fishing. It basically was one size fits
all--and you couldn't tell if a person was 270 pounds or 140
pounds under the rubber--everyone looked 270 pounds.
Today neoprene and lightweight high tech shredded milk carton
shirts are being seen more and more, and the fishing vest has
more cubbies and pockets than a colony of Kangaroos.
And they look good on the cover of magazines to boot!!
Speaking of boots.
I remember my first wading boots were basically the same boots I
wore to muck out manholes when I worked for the telephone
company. Now, they look more like "Hush Puppies" and I'm not so
sure I wouldn't be proud to wear them into the office.
I suppose the day is coming when neoprene waders will be made to
look like tuxedos or Armani suits--so we can really look like
gentlemen out there. That might not actually be a bad idea, I
for one could see the benefit in that--especially if the wedding
ceremony runs into the evening hatch--one could still make it
out to the river and save some valuable time avoiding "change
time".
All in all, it doesn't really matter to me if some style
continues to creep into the fishing world, but if they start
making the "river tie"--I'm taking up Golf!