www.hifispy.com's Top TV Spies/Secret Agents!
The top 5 TV spies/secret agents of all time, as picked by
www.hifispy.com (with honorable mentions). Please feel free to
edit with additions, and leave your comments on our message
board:
5) Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart", 1965-1970: "Of course! It's all
coming back to me now!" This 60's staple of hi-tech virtuosity
was simply a hoot to watch, plus oddly relateable, even with
arch-nemeses' CONTROL and KAOS' wild gadgetry; Don Adams'
Maxwell Smart was the Everyman in a covert agent's suit. He
offset the impossible, campy cool of Roger Moore's James Bond by
invariably bumping into his own chamber's door at the start of
every show, played straight man to his cohorts' witty
one-liners, and was a ladies' man without being a kitsch-ish
gigolo like Mr. "Shaken, Not Stirred." His over-the-top
kalaidescope-secret-agent-door lampooned the seemingly overdone
hi-techery of his more serious counterparts, which was then
itself lampooned by shows such as "The Simpsons" (check out Mr.
Burns' impenetrable nuclear shutdown room where a stray dog
enters through a rusty screen door). Plus, the show's concept
was successfully duplicated for kids in the "Inspector Gadget"
animated series. These days, many so-called agent shows bring
about the same laughs, though unintentionally. And 'would you
believe' it still holds up decades after the series' swan song?
4) John Shaft, "Shaft", 1973-1974: OK, so Richard Roundtree's
Shaft wasn't exactly an undercover brother -- far from it, in
fact. Everyone knew Shaft's name and his game. And he wasn't
decidely hi-tech (heck, 'The Man' didn't even want Black dudes
owning guns in those days, much less government-issued tasers
and trackers and the like.) But that was then, and he can't be
blamed for the limiting prejudices of his time (Link from 'The
Mod Squad' notwithstanding). Nowadays, his savoir-faire and
derring-do would make him a swashbuckling spy anti-hero that the
small screen would salivate over, were he given meatier game
than hoodrats and small-time hustlers. In an age where Ice Cube,
Vin Diesel and other new jacks have hi-calibre periphery at
their disposal and taking advantage of them XXX-style, we wonder
what a post-9/11 Shaft would do with an arsenal like that.
Infiltrate the Russian mob? Halt the flow of narcotics from
South America through the Caribbean? He had way too much natural
charm to deal only with sucka gangsters in the 'hood. And he was
a loose, my-own-man cannon before it became hip to be a loose
cannon on the job. So, for all of this -- plus, his all-around
Black male coolness -- he deserves a place on this list, if for
potential/blueprint status alone. He was ahead of the game
without the hi-tech gadgetry. He was a lone wolf who had a knack
for getting contacts, and never shady with the ladies. He had an
deep-in-the-cut vibe without having to stay incognito inside.
And he was ultra smooth but still always in your face if need
be. If all of this sounds paradoxical ... hey, he's a
complicated man. He was a bad mutha-- ... but of course, we're
just talking about Shaft. Can you dig it? 3) Robert McCall, "The
Equalizer", 1985-1989: This is a guy to whom the saying "If
looks could kill ..." wholly applies. Who can forget the intro
to the show, where a steel-eyed Edward Woodward's McCall
character casts you a gaze that practically begs you to take him
on? It seems almost a default that he would have access to
allies' most secretive devices, and would be enthusiastic in
utilizing them for his means. After all, Bond got them by
tongue-in-cheek double-entendres; surely, his fellow Brit could
obtain same with his sharp-and-to-the-point accent and delivery.
This truly was an example of the beginning of pathos in TV agent
land; McCall has to contend with a dead wife, estranged son and
a long-lost daughter while trying to prevent certain chaos. This
is an agent with a conscience: ex-CIA, and deeply regrets it --
which is why he serves the weak and innocent free of charge. Is
this guy a cool face for altruism or what? 2) Vinnie Terranova,
"Wiseguy", 1987-1990: One of TV's up-until-recently forgotten
gems, 'Wiseguy' pioneered the 'serial-series' for TV programs of
any genre -- meaning, one theme/plot would run over several
episodes of the show, instead of each episode containing
individual conflicts and resolutions. Ken Wahl's Vincent
Terranova, undercover FBI agent, was the thinking man's thug
agent -- tough as nails, but with a penchant for pensiveness,
moral reflection and other deep analysis about the meaning of
his duties. He confided his concerns to his off-site tech guy,
Uncle Mike, and was at once a source of great relief and
consternation for his boss, Frank McPike. This was another show
introducing the modern take on the secret agent/spy, because
besides its episode-to-episode plot continuity, it introduced a
truly 3-dimensional character behind the death-defying espionage
and duplicity; this is a character that ponders his compromising
role, thinks and feels in every episode. 'Wiseguy''s cult value
is only raised by the fact that the show's star became so
disenamored with show biz life that he practically walked off
the show, thus leaving writers with no choice but to kill off
one of TV's coolest undercover agents ever. In fact, Terranova's
replacement, Michael Santana, lacked the former's intrinsic
intellect-thug appeal, and the show quickly sank to its eventual
cancellation.
Oh, how's this for a segue? The name of the actor who played
Michael Santana was Stephen Bauer -- which leads us to our
choice for TV's all time, #1 secret/special agent ... 1) Jack
Bauer, "24", 2001-present(?): "This is going to be the longest
day of my life." When Jack Bauer, agent-in-charge of L.A.'s
Counter-Terrorist Unit, calmly explains the visceral
consequences to a terrorist for non-cooperation in the series'
1st season (involving gutting his interviewee with a
solution-soaked towel), we knew we had our man right away. Doing
away with all heretofore niceties, it was refreshing to hear a
guy trying to stop terrorism come up with some pretty creative,
pretty nasty terror-inducing tactics of his own. Where do we
start? Throughout the years, we see a guy clearly on the edge
and in need of a serious vacation (to say the least). His wife
is murdered and he is estranged from his daughter. He foils an
assassination attempt on a presidential candidate, pretends to
fall for his wife's female killer to stop the terrorist
no-goodniks, and even lives the American dream by shooting his
own double-crossing boss in the head. He hacks off one of his
cohort's hands to free it from a devastating virus bomb and goes
undercover to stop a drug-dealing ring, during which time he
himself gets addicted to heroin. He witnesses the downing of the
president and his son's Air Force One jet, a prelude to the
terror to come as a nuclear warhead threatens 10s of millions of
lives on U.S. soil. Finally, the last three episodes end with
Jack covertly kidnapping a Chinese man with knowledge of the
whereabouts of said nuclear warhead-strapped missile about to
inflict massive destruction. Somehow, he manages to get the
entire Chinese government (!) on his tail also, due to the
accidental killing of a Chinese government official during his
raid. Incidentally, his interplay with ex-President Palmer (TV's
first believeable African-American President, acting in place of
a spineless, and ultimately ungrateful,
VP-turned-acting-President Logan) throughout the crisis is one
of the more interesting government-character dialogues in recent
memory, a combination of genuine friendship and official duty.
Now, all of this would be above-standard fare on TV, even before
considering the fact that each season consists of one (one!)
24-hour day. Unrealistic? Maybe. Likely that an agent with this
many identifying nemesis could survive longer than the 4 days
depicted by the show's length up to now? With Jack's
ruthlessness and skills, the debate could go either way (we like
to think yes, if his CTU's comrades could stop bickering amongst
each other, overcome various personal dilemmas and tend to their
ace-in-the-hole, for the sake of millions of other innocents).
Do we care about nitpicking? Absolutely not. Engrossing and
tension-packed? Absolutely yes!
Thankfully, the show's writers and its star, the charismatic
Keifer Sutherland, chose not to go on the tragic route for this
character, who after 4 years, was bound to get his comeuppance,
with Mr. Sutherland ready to hang up Bauer's sneakers. So, at
the end of the 2-hour finale of the 4th season, Bauer receives
orders from President Palmer to fake his own death in order to
avoid the Chinese government's wrath. As Jack dons his shades
and walks into the sunset, from the U.S. through the Canadian
border -- and into the books as TV's #1-Coolest Ever
Secret/Special Agent -- we wonder if the next '24' hours will
provide the same kind of uncompromising, politically-charged,
brutal drama. Only time can tell ... (Cool '24' trivia fact: Mr.
Sutherland was in a Toronto, Ontario bar watching this season
finale, as his Bauer character walks towards an undisclosed
Canadian destination -- another example of life imitating art
imitating life!)
HONORABLE MENTIONS: 'The Mod Squad', 'The Man from U.N.C.L.E.',
'Eye Spy', 'Magnum P.I.', 'McGuyver', 'The 'A' Team'