Influencing Skills - How To Influence People
There is no right way, nor is there only one way to influence
others. Everything, but everything, is a factor when influencing
people.
And we are, all of us, influenced by people, places, events and
situations at all times. Sometimes we are affected more or less
by these things, but we are continually being influenced by what
happens around us.
So what about the specifics in the workplace?
Your job requires you to influence people just about all of the
time. It may take the form of gaining support, inspiring others,
persuading other people to become your champions, engaging
someone's imagination, creating relationships.
Whatever form it takes, being an excellent influencer makes your
job easier.
An interesting point about people who use their influencing
skills well, is that other people like being around them.
There's a kind of exciting buzz, or sense that things happen
when they're about.
It's because they don't sit around wishing things were different
while moaning there's nothing they can do about it.
They don't sit around blaming others or complaining about what
needs fixing that will make things better. They see what needs
doing and set about getting it done.
Truly excellent influencing skills require a healthy combination
of interpersonal, communication, presentation and assertiveness
techniques.
It is about adapting and modifying your personal style when you
become aware of the affect you are having on other people, while
still being true to yourself. Behaviour and attitude change are
what's important, not changing who you are or how you feel and
think.
You may try to exert your influence through coercion and
manipulation. You might even succeed in getting things done; but
that isn't really influencing. That's forcing people to do what
you want, often against their will. You won't have succeeded in
winning support.
Pushing, bullying, bludgeoning or haranguing DO NOT WORK! Like
elephants, people will remember the experience.
Indeed, if you force someone to do something you want, without
taking their point of view into consideration, then the
impression that person is left with is how they will see you
forever. You're stuck with it, unless you deliberately change
what you do in order to be seen differently.
People are far more willing to come halfway (or more) if they
feel acknowledged, understood and appreciated. They may even end
up doing or agreeing to something they wouldn't previously have
done because they feel good about making the choice.
Influencing is about understanding yourself and the effect or
impact you have on others. Though it can, on occasion, be one
way, the primary relationship is two way, and it is about
changing how others perceive you.
In other words, the clich