How to Turn a Difficult Meeting into a Positive Meeting
Have you ever heard someone offer a positive idea in a meeting
and nearly everyone around the table shoots it down immediately?
There seems to be more reasons why it can't or shouldn't happen
than in ways to make it happen. Many times these meetings become
downer meetings, spiraling downward toward failure, and everyone
leaves in frustration.
Does it seem that your meetings never accomplish anything?
Stop fighting the negative and use the negatives to drive toward
the positive.
Dr. Bluma Zeigarnic, a Russian psychopathologist, said that we
come into a greatest height of consciousness and alertness
through negative events. Negative events actually turn us on
more, get our adrenal glands going, our bodies get ready for the
fight or flight mode. Our minds are turned on more during
battle. We've become very alert and excited. It's actually
called the Zeigarnic effect.
So, let's use this excitement to build toward the positive.
When you see people reacing negatively during your next meeting,
don't fear it, use it to your best advantage. Get out your flip
chart or white board. At the top write the original idea down
and tell everyone we want to look at all aspects of this.
Then ask what are the reasons we should do this, looking for a
measurable benefit (this is the reason we SHOULD move forward).
Then ask everyone to list the consequences of not moving forward
(this is what will happen if you stand still.) The typical first
response for a consequence is someone pointing out that you
won't have the benefits. Don't fight it, list the loss of
benefits as a consequence, but point out that we want to
determine if there is really a cost to standing still besides
loss of benefits. Frequently there is an additional cost). The
benefits and consequences, especially when you've put a
measurable dollar figure on them, will help keep you on task
toward resolving the problem.
Then ask everyone in the room to list all of the obstacles to
making this idea happen. This is where we'll put the Zeigarnic
effect to our use. Start your list down the left side of the
board. Get everyone involved. They can get quite excited. Make
sure that everyone is heard as to what they think the biggest
obstacles will be.
Then announce that we want to see what we've got to do to
resolve the obstacles. Let's change the ideas from everyone's
perception that there are walls that we can't get beyond into
the perception that we've got a tree down across our path (our
obstacle) and we want to see what happens when we move the tree.
After everyone has been heard, and all possible obstacles have
been listed start a list of 4-5 solutions for each of the
obstacles. These are ways to remove the obstacle. Don't quit
with the first one, that's too easy. Force more ways to do it,
that will open up their minds. The deeper you look the more
likely you will find the underlying issues.
What I've seen in large groups is that once we've removed the
obstacle the room comes alive with new ideas. Up until this
point, as soon as someone looked at an idea they had said,
"tried that, didn't work last time, not going to go there
again." Most of the time we think it is more expedient to avoid
repeating bad mistakes, so we don't even consider those options.
Our minds shut down rather than looking for creative ways to
move forward. I want to change that to one of realizing that we
had an obstacle that can be removed, and once past that obstacle
there is an infinite number of new ways, and new thoughts that
will open up.
Change all "cant's into how's." How will we move forward rather
than can't move forward.
I've seen the room become wildly excited once past the
obstacles. New thoughts start coming from the room. You can
almost see the light bulbs turning on above the heads in the
room.
So, build a list of the solutions to remove the obstacle, then a
list of all of the things that you can do once the obstacle has
been removed.
Do that for each of the obstacles.
Now, make your final decision whether to move forward or not.
Weigh the * Benefits of moving forward * Consequences of not
moving forward * Obstacles and the ease of removing the
obstacles as the tools for the final decision.
If you decide to move forward, immediately move to creating a
list of actions for each of the solutions, assigning a
responsible person to make it happen, whether it will be
delegated and to who, and a delivery date. * You've just turned
a negative room into actions to move forward. * You've turned a
"can't" into "how." As a matter of fact, I'm always telling my
clients that whenever you hear "can't" stop what you are doing,
and ask "how could I do it." That opens up new thinking that was
never there before. * Everyone in the room has felt like they've
been listened to, and have actively moved forward rather than
stagnated. * Frustrating meetings have turned into positive
action plans.