The Brain Drain
Am I the only one, or does it seem harder and harder to remember
things?
I remember long ago, somehow I made a barely-conscious decision
to purge useless information from my brain. This was probably to
make room for newer, more exciting information, such as the name
of that cute girl over there or the latest interpretation of the
Special Theory of Relativity.
It was a double edged strategy. I was able to process loads of
new data, but the mundane, such as remembering to wear matching
shoes, suffered.
I moved through life controlled by a CPU which more resembled
RAM (random access, or temporary, memory) as opposed to archival
hard-drive storage. But oddly, I was able to conjure up weird
pieces of exhaustively researched triviata which held my rapt
attention for an intense half-life until they decayed and lay
abandoned on the trail behind me.
Such is the world inside my head. A place where fascination can
be triggered by the profoundly mundane, held under laser and
electron microscope until all secrets are revealed, only to be
abandoned like a pregnant hillbilly girlfriend.
As an older fart, the strangeness of my mind-space becomes even
more noticeable. Now I have old-timers disease as well as
Einsteinitis. I know I should be drilling down to some essential
truth, I just can't remember what it is. I may even be drilling
unconsciously without even knowing it.
So here I am, like millions in my demographic, who can't
remember sh*t.
I am sure I get amazing amounts accomplished, I just seem to
have lost track of what these accomplishments actually are.
Which is why I was forced to develop memory workarounds. We all
have them. Here are some of mine:
1. Leave things by the door so I remember to take them with me
as I depart.
2. Write myself to-do lists (a no-brainer).
3. Write to-do items in my Palm(tm) calendar.
4. Write myself emails.
5. Leave out reminder objects, such as bills to pay, in
conspicuous places.
In addition, I hired a really clever guy to build me what I call
a "Bounceback Server". It actually returns copies of my emails
to me at intervals I specify. Think of it as Ginko Bilaboa on
steroids, except that it can be validated.
If, for instance, I want my email to bounce back to me in one
week, I copy the email to 1w@poingo.com. One week later, when I
have thoroughly forgotten the incredible urgency of the project,
my email reappears to refresh my decidedly unfresh memory.
At this point I will decide whether to issue yet another emailed
nudge or hock-a-chinik in some other way. If I send out a
reminder email, again I will copy the Bounceback Server for
whatever interval I think will make me look incredibly efficient
to my nudgee.
You might be surprised at the number of emails you could send
out, even in one day, which would be be candidates for this type
of reminder system. I send emails to the Bounceback Server
between 5 and 10 times a day. In addition, I also open emails
bounced back to me from the Bounceback Server another 5-10 times
a day.
My projects maintain momentum. People know I care. Progress
takes place. I appear to be at the top of my game even though in
truth I am operating on maybe one last badly worn but highly
experienced brain cell.
I have made my Bounceback Server available to you for a
pitifully low price that is less than even a small handful of
bootlegged Aderals, and it won't even attack your liver. You can
even send emails using up to three different email addresses,
and the Bounceback Server will still recognize you as a friend.
Try it before you forget.