Top Ten Ways for Managers to Build Rapport through Listening
(and more!)*
Working with people, whoever they are and at whatever level,
requires great relationships. Managers can build rapport easily
and quickly and great relationships follow.
Team building is accelerated and what follows is a synergy of
creative spirit to build great businesses.
Here are Ten Ways to start you off building rapport with your
people...
1. Pay attention to and look at the speaker.
You're building a relationship, so make sure that you help that
along by paying attention - and let them see that you are!
Visual attention is so powerful that you can only grow the
relationship if you pay full attention by looking at them and
not at anything else.
2. Periodically reflect what they have said back to them -
let them say more.
Show them that you have been listening to them by telling them
what you have heard them say. And hey, this is such a great way
of enabling them to have a little pause for thought and take it
down to the next level of their consciousness - where the real
work happens and they say more, much more.
3. Ask them another question about what they have told
you.
If you are interested, you want to know more, so give them a
sign. By asking for more about what they're telling you, it
means what they are saying is of great interest to you and they
are important to you - now wouldn't you feel great if that was
you?
4. Look them 'nearly' in the eye, frequently.
If you are up close to people, making eyeball to eyeball contact
can be uncomfortable, intimate and intimidating if you do it too
much, but eyeball to mouth (or nose or forehead!) much of the
time works just as well.
5. Use touch if appropriate and if that works for them.
Touch can work if you do it in context - for example if someone
touches you on the arm lightly, then you can do it too, usually.
It means they are tactile too. There are all sorts of problems
about the appropriateness of this, but in the right place at the
right time it can work well to build rapport.
6. Laugh together.
How many times have you heard that laughter 'brings people
together'. Having a conversation where there is appropriate
humour makes such a difference - don't be frightened to let
yourself go just a little and get involved in the fun! Be one of
the boys (or girls!).
7. Build trust by following through with commitments.
Create an environment where as you listen, you make commitments
and agreements which you follow through and deliver. This
creates your 'emotional bank account' credits (as Steven Covey
says in the 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'). If the
person you are listening to knows you will deliver what you say,
you are well ahead in their credit rating.
8. Seek clarification if you are not sure - don't assume.
As you listen, there may be things which are unclear. Don't be
shy, be honest and ask for clarity. It is far worse to make
incorrect assumptions and get it wrong, than to admit that you
didn't quite understand what they meant. It will also make you
human and real - well, at least slightly more so!
9. Use other body language to show you are listening.
While you are listening you can show all sorts of encouraging
signs that the speaker will take positively. Apart from loads of
facial gestures (raised eyebrows, smiles, frowns, nods of the
head etc.), other parts of your body show you are listening
closely too. A shrug of the shoulders, arm and hand gestures and
even an open body posture (arms NOT folded!) can all make a
difference to your speaker. (A soft-shoe shuffle of excitement
can work too - when you know folk a little better!)
10. Put off interruptions.
When listening to someone, maintain full attention by switching
off cell-phones, pagers and PA announcements for you. If someone
else asks for your attention, don't flip from your original
speaker to them. Every time you are interrupted, your rapport
build has to start again.
And at the end of the day any interaction, when positive,
supportive, encouraging and fun, is going to make a big, big
difference.