The Rules of Romance
Romance is sort of like a wonderful way in which people can
balance each other. This can come about in a lot of different
ways that are probably already occurring in your relationship.
You simply don't know how to see it yet. Think about what has
changed about your since you married your spouse. You can
probably say that quite a bit has changed. Now think about how
much hasn't changed since you got married. You can probably say
that quite a bit hasn't changed as well. Your spouse, your love
and your romance offer the opportunity to balance your
relationship beautifully.
You may feel threatened in some way when you think about
surrendering completely to your love for your spouse. Remember
that you can always lose yourself in that love without risking
losing your individuality. You can also allow yourself and even
embrace change without losing what it is about you that makes
you unique. Compromise is always possible without having to
compromise who you are. Growth is always possible and it never
has to mean growing apart. You and your spouse are capable of
having disagreements without arguments. You can allow yourself
to experience emotion and feelings without losing control of
yourself.
Trust is essential in any relationship- especially a marriage.
You can give in to your partner without the fear of losing
anything. You can open up to him or her without the fear of
being judged. It is possible to keep the passion alive in your
marriage for the duration of your lifetime, you can remain a
responsible adult while indulging in your inner child and the
only time you are truly known is in your intimate, long-term
relationship- your marriage.
Your lover cannot know who you truly are unless you open up your
heart completely. You cannot be a participant in a loving
relationship without being vulnerable. Being intimate always
comes with a risk even if you are with your spouse and you must
be willing to face that risk.
Both you and your spouse need to make sure that you create a
supportive environment or else you will never be able to share
your feelings freely with each other. Spontaneity and control
don't work well together. In fact, they can't work together at
all. If control is an issue for either you and/or your spouse,
it needs to be addressed. You will never be able to be
interdependent with your spouse unless you are first able to be
independent on your own. Dependence is a harmful thing in any
relationship and it must be changed into a healthy dependence.
Both spouses need to be open to the fact that neither of you can
grow without learning from your mistakes. Once you learn how to
forgive yourself, you can learn how to forgive others and
grudges cannot be held. Broken hearts will not heal unless that
heart is put at risk again.
The point of romance is to grow together in love and intimacy.
Love and intimacy can mean a number of different things to
different people and all of them are essential to a healthy
relationship. Live together, learn together, grow together and
love together.