Have a Love Affair with Your Spouse
Mort Katz once said that "Love is its own aphrodisiac and is the
main ingredient for lasting sex." If you've got love and you're
working on the romance, your own incredible love affair with
your spouse is just waiting to break free! Do you know what
turns your partner on? Are you aware of his or her most
intimate, secret fantasies?
Most people make assumptions about what their spouse likes
based on external factors like what partners in previous
relationships liked or what the latest magazine article claims
to work. Everyone likes something different and in the bedroom
is no exception. Now is the time to learn about your spouse,
what you both want in the bedroom and what works for both of you
as a couple.
Visit some of the most popular lingerie stores in your area
together or browse web sites like Victoria's Secret or
Frederick's of Hollywood. You can even request catalogs to be
delivered to your home so that you can 'shop' together at your
leisure. Have him mark off what he finds exciting and arousing.
Have her mark off what she finds exciting and arousing. Both
should go through the catalog or shop together and make note of
what they both agree on.
Then both spouses should put all of their preconceived ideas
and judgements aside as they explore possibilities with and for
each other. To begin with, wives should try something incredibly
simple yet incredibly sexy like laying on a bed of black sheets
while wearing white lingerie or the other way around. That is a
wonderful starting point and safe way to open up about what you
both enjoy in the bedroom.
Look into what is considered to be an aphrodisiac and try some
things out together. An aphrodisiac is anything like a smell,
drug, food, drink or even flower that some say increase or
stimulates sexual desire. While scientific evidence to back the
actual effectiveness of aphrodisiacs is lacking, some couples
find excitement simply in trying new things. Some of the most
common things people claim to have an aphrodisiac affect include
hot, sweat producing spices, oysters, wasabi, caviar reinforced
by vodka, ginseng, yohimbe and the scents of musk, patchouli and
vanilla. Two flowers that are thought to be related to sex
enhancement are the Hibiscus and Cala Lilies.
If you and your spouse have a difficult time sitting down and
telling each other about your sexual fantasies, try making a
game out of it. Get a large, empty jar and fill it with 25 of
your most intimate sexual fantasies. You can make them anything
that has to with your fulfillment, your spouse's fulfillment or
both of your fulfillment. Again, setting all inhibitions and
judgements aside, you both get to pick a single fantasy each
week that should be fulfilled as a couple. It is up to both of
you if you feel the need to set particular rules and/or
boundaries. Of course, the game can always change as you both
grow more comfortable with each other and learn how much fun and
fulfilling being intimate with your own spouse can be.