What to do when your heart says yes, but your wedding budget
says no
Hopefully, you won't need this section on budget trouble, but it
does happen. Combine emotions with money and new families and it
can certainly be the right mix for disaster. So, how do you deal
with it and still see everyone smiling and happy at the wedding?
Making the rules
Silly as it sounds, it may help to have a few ground rules for
all the adults that are chipping in for the wedding. Perhaps you
could all go out to eat and discuss what you want to do. Figure
out who will pay for what and write it down.
In the case of step and extended families, it may not be this
easy. Unsettled discussions might creep in and accusations of
one side doing more than the other can come to light. For this
case, you want to talk to each side by themselves. This way
neither side will be able to compare their amounts (and you
won't tell either side), and you can talk to them about their
wishes in private.
It's sad that you have to be the peacekeeper in this situation,
but it will help for a smoother day.
A separate peace
Another way to deal with the budget and any possible arguments
is to set up a separate checking account into which all of the
contributors can make deposits. This way, only you know the
balance because you'll get the checks to make the actual
deposits and everyone gets to chip in as they can.
You may also want to take the halves of the family out for
different shopping errands. This way they can help with choosing
items that you need, while also picking up the tab along the
way. A lot of parents enjoy being active parts of the wedding
plans, rather than just the money source.
In most cases, you won't have to deal with too much fuss over
the wedding budget, but if you should, the best advice is to
talk about it immediately. The longer you wait on something, the
more stressful it will become to you and you don't need that
when you're trying to plan a happy day.
Sit everyone down and try to talk out whatever is bothering
them. And if something is bothering you, it's best to just be
honest. Let them know if they don't seem to be pulling their
weight or if they're constantly talking about your other parent
negatively. There's nothing to be gained from pretending that
everything is alright.