Bridal Shower Etiquette
While showers have evolved and become more relaxed in recent
years, there are still certain rules of bridal shower etiquette
that should be observed in order to avoid offending anyone.
Since there will be a variety of groups there - friends, family
and coworkers in most cases - it's important to understand how
everyone should interact. Especially in the case of family,
mothers and grandmothers can place a great deal of importance on
proper bridal shower etiquette, so make sure you know what the
"rules" are!
The Maid of Honor is usually the person expected to plan and
organize the bridal shower. If she lives out of town, however,
it's fine for someone else to do the honors. Don't take over
without checking with her, though. It is her privilege, and you
should always ask her before assuming anything. If you are going
to do it for her, make sure you keep her as involved as she
would like to be through frequent emails and phone calls.
Bridal shower etiquette traditionally says that a shower should
be at least four to six weeks before the wedding. This is for
purely practical reasons - the bride is going to be too busy any
closer to the ceremony - but if she's coming home only two weeks
before the wedding, talk to her and see how she feels about
having a shower in her honor so close to the wedding. She may
think this is fine if most of her friends will be able to be in
attendance at that time.
There has been an uncomfortable trend in recent years for large
showers with nearly everyone the bride knows invited. This is
not what the bridal shower is supposed to be. A bridal shower is
supposed to be a small, intimate gathering of the bride's
closest friends and family. Proper bridal shower etiquette
dictates a group of no more than ten to twenty guests.
The guest list should include the wedding party, the mothers of
the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the
bride's closest friends and/or coworkers. It shouldn't include
every female invited to the wedding.
Finally, bridal shower etiquette means being sure to
include the wedding party and the mothers in the shower itself
in some way. Ask each person to take on some responsibility,
whether it is recording a list of the gifts and givers as they
are opened or organizing the group for games. This will make
everyone feel they've been part of this special day.