How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven
Goal Setting Tools
Goal Setting and Relationships?
That is not as weird as it may sound. Consider the following
definition of a goal: "A goal is a future incidence or event
that is consciously worked towards." With this in mind, it is
perfectly normal to make it your goal to improve your
relationship, and these seven goal setting tools can help you.
A great relationship is one of the finest things life can offer.
When you choose your partner and start on a full-time
relationship, you look forward to a future of love, support,
encouragement, communication and intimacy. We enter into
relationships for many different reasons and with many different
expectations. Often, due to circumstances outside your control,
a relationship can become a little tarnished.
You recognize that all people are different and that even the
most compatible couple will have individual needs that differ at
times. Using just the seven goal setting tools discussed in this
article takes a give and take approach. Partners in a
relationship who adopt this give and take attitude often feel a
sense of pride in modifying a need "downward" when they know it
will satisfy and stabilize their partner and the relationship
itself. Mutual giving flourishes in an atmosphere of
cooperation.
Seven Goal Setting Tools
Listening: Communication is the key to a lasting relationship
and listening is the key to communicating. Being a good listener
takes more than being attentive to your partner when he or she
talks with you. Good listening is a characteristic of a healthy
relationship. Give your mate full attention when he or she is
talking. Listening without interrupting the other shows respect
and also builds trust. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give
someone is just to listen - with your heart. So listening helps
to improve relationship in great way.
Small things: The small things are what constitute our
existence. Once the excitement your partner brings to your world
becomes familiar, it's the small things that thrill you both and
that will keep you connected and turned-on for the long run. Do
the small things you did when you first fell in love with your
mate. Remember the small things you did to show your love to
your mate? But as time went by, you probably began to get
weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things
that made the difference in the beginning. Small things like a
phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say, "I love
you", a handwritten appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and
opening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously going
back and doing the small things that you did when your love
first began to grow.
Give attention: When each person has decided to give of
themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship
of love, concern, and devotion. Consider your mate's interests
more important than your own. Give attention to your mate's
interests. All healthy relationships require consistent,
ongoing, conscious attention to survive and thrive. It is a
simple fact that whenever we give attention to something, we are
choosing to create more of it.
Say 'thank you': One of the most useful phrases in improving
your relationship is to say "thank you". These two magic words
will make others feel closer to you and create loyal
relationships. This attitude of appreciation nourishes the heart
of both participants and assures that each person's needs are
attended to. Things like saying "thank you", re-charge your
relationship. You know to say "thank you" when someone gives you
a gift or does something special for you. However, if you're
seriously interested in improving your relationship, you need to
let your mate know how much you appreciate things that are not
special, the things that we just take for granted because people
are supposed to do them anyway. Tell your partner what is right
with them, what you appreciate, value and cherish. Thank them
repeatedly and often. Appreciation makes your partner feel
valued. It also builds trust and a feeling of acceptance. These
powerful attributes act like a magnet to attract your partner to
you.
Personalized gifts: Personalized gifts are great not only for
life's special occasions. Personalized gifts bring important
moments to life and keep the memory alive forever. Express your
feelings and show how much you care with personalized gifts. It
shows your partner how much you value your relationship.
Personalized gifts are always a winner because they are made
exclusively for your beloved, with care and attention. Choose
gifts that reflect your partner's interests. Evening wrapping
your gift can be personalized. A little handwritten note
expressing your gratitude can mean as much to your partner as
the gift itself. Also be sure to give the gift in person.
Personalized gift giving is a great way to spread goodwill and
cheer amongst each other.
Feel special: Sometimes your partner likes to get noticed once
in a while. We like to feel appreciated for our actions,
feelings and aspirations and want to be noticed and
acknowledged. Become a person who notices these things in your
partner and give a compliment often. It will make your partner
feel special and know how that you care. The only way our
partner knows what makes us feel special is if we speak up. The
gestures that make us feel special are different for each one of
us. Learning how to make each other feel special takes time and
an awareness. Taking this journey of self-discovery together is
one of the joys of a relationship. A key to a happy relationship
is a commitment to learn. It is an attitude of curiosity,
discovery, and delight in each other. Learn this essential
relationship wisdom, and you will make each other feel special
every day.
Unconditional love: Love is the primary energy in the universe.
Giving unconditional love will deliver the greatest joy
possible. The term 'unconditional love' means to love without
terms and conditions, which means giving of yourself.
Unconditional love is accepting another for exactly who they
are, not forcing the person to change to meet your expectations
of how they should be. It is about giving the person the freedom
to be exactly who they want to be by allowing, supporting and
enabling them in every way you can. Unconditional Love is true
neutrality; it does not judge or evaluate. It does not like or
dislike. It does not blame, so it does not need to forgive. It
does not have choices or preferences, opinions or positions.
Unconditional Love does not dictate, is not authoritative. It
has no expectations other than what is.
Put the Sizzle back
Learning how to establish and maintain a loving, supportive
relationship is no different to setting any other goal. It takes
information, planning, thought, skill, time, and most of all,
attention. You learn your skills and styles from your parents,
close friends and relatives. You watch them from the time you
are little. They teach you both your roles in a relationship,
and how to play them, through their example. This happens in
every family and much of the teaching is unintentional and
unconscious. You can learn to be assertive (not aggressive) and
to collaborate with your partner. You can learn to listen with
your mind and heart. You can learn to fight fair and resolve
conflicts equitably and sanely. You can learn to value and
acknowledge both yourself and your partner. You can learn to
speak from your heart and be safe. You can learn to ask for what
you need and want.
Use these seven goal setting tools, and put the sizzle back in
you relationship. This is just one of the areas that is covered
in the eaziGOAL system.