SHOULD YOU STICK WITH ONE COUPLE?
If you've just begun swinging and have found a great couple to
play with, then you're in the groove. Perhaps you meet at
regular times, perhaps not. Let's say that you're yearning for a
little more swing time, but the other couple's schedule or
expectations just don't match that--what do you do?
Is there a certain etiquette to finding more than one swinging
group?
Sorting It Out
Although this might sound like a broken record at this point,
the main way to figure out this dilemma is to talk to the other
couple about it. See what their ideas and their concerns might
be.
Many of the times, you will find that swinging is actually a lot
more open that you even imagined it, so things aren't as sticky
as they might seem to be.
Because you're already in an open relationship, you may want to
have this discussion before you even begin swinging. Talk about
the possibility of it, and it won't become anything that's a
secret.
Secrets and lies are where all relationships can fall apart,
including swingers.
Also, if you find that the other couple has been swinging for
longer, they may have already found another couple to spend
their time with--although you should have found this out before.
Making sure that everyone is on the same page is the best way to
ensure that no one feels like they or you are hiding anything.
If The Other Couple Isn't Okay With It
You may find that the other couples (for whatever reason) is not
interested is having you look for additional couples. And there
are a few ways to look at this kind of reaction.
One, the other couple may still be feeling insecure about
swinging in general, so they need some sort of 'commitment' to
feel better. This is fairly common in the early stages of
swinging--especially with beginners. Respect their decision, but
feel free to bring it up again in the future.
Two, the other couple seems to want to be more controlling of
the swinging relationship. They have a lot of rules or
guidelines that 'need' to be followed exactly. Although there is
a fine line between having an agreement and being overly
controlling, you want to stop if you feel this vibe going on.
Do you feel as though you aren't participating in the
relationship as much? If so, this can be a sign of the other
couple's over-control and a sign that you may want to stop the
relationship.
Swinging is for everyone in the group to enjoy and not be a
one-sided adventure.
Control can lead to a darker side to a relationship, and you
just don't need that in your life.
When it comes down to it, talking out your feelings with the
other couple is best. You don't want to have them hear about
anything through another couple. You will have destroyed the
trust that you have built.
And if it just seems like it's something that you can't agree
on, end that relationship, and move on. No hard feelings.