How to forget the past relationship?
The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into
the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the
past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new
relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every
new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for
faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else.
What happens after a break up?
This depends largely upon the intensity of the earlier
relationship. More intense the love, more hurt will result after
the break up. And if your break up took place because of
unfaithfulness of your partner, it will hurt you still more. The
memories of time shared will haunt forever. A look at something
shared will bring in an avalanche of past memories and will take
away your peace in a moment. The past can be very destructive.
It kills the person, it kills the present and the future. It can
haunt one forever.
How to come out of it?
There are no easy ways out of this. Some of us will never come
out of the grief for our lifetime. One method that can help is
this. Imagine a reservoir of emotions. Imagine of many
reservoirs. In one, you have your longing for the one you lost.
In another you store your memories of good times. In yet another
you have stored pain that you are suffering from. In this manner
imagine of many reservoirs. Till they are emptied, you will not
become new. Am i right? What is to be done? Please empty them
out. It will take time, in some cases many years, but you can
empty them if you really want. Live through all your longing
again and empty that reservoir. Similarly cry as much as you can
and fell the hurt the lost love has given you. Experience
everything fully, suffer from all the pain and try to empty out
all that is in your heart.
This is very painful. But if you want to live again, please do
this. Many of us hide our hurt, avoid thinking about the good
moments shared together and in all possible ways try to be so
busy that the feelings don't come out at all. But the feelings
are very much there inside eating away our vitals. These
feelings will never allow you to move forward in a positive way.
Please remove everything from the mind and the heart by reliving
and go forward. You may no longer feel the hurt and the pain
with the same intensity, but it will be very difficult to fall
in love with another person again with the earlier intensity.
Please accept this fact. Your beloved you left you has taken
away something very vital from you - your faith in goodness of
human beings. But after emptying out totally, you will at least
be come a normal person, who can carry on life if not like a
robot, than like a person without any feelings.