Are You Confusing Escape with Comfort, in your relationship?
We're going to talk about some "advanced stuff" today, so I want
you to pay careful attention. As you may or may not know, it is
very important for a woman to feel a sense of security in a
relationship, to feel protected when she's with a man. This is
true no matter how powerful or successful she is, and comes back
to what I call defining authority in a relationship.
A woman takes comfort in a man who defines authority in a
relationship. She feels secure... and the two go hand in hand IF
what you're providing is what I call "true comfort." See, way
too many people confuse comfort with escape and the consequences
can be dangerous. So what's the difference between the two?
Let's start with what "escape" means. Escape is really the
illusion of comfort... a retreat into a false reality in an
attempt to get away from "real reality." Unfortunately, the
consequences of "real reality" still apply. An extreme example,
of course, is the drug addict who spends all his time either
high or trying to get that way, so he doesn't have to deal with
reality. Of course reality always come crashing down, and the
addict has to face the consequences of the decisions he made
based on events in his illusion that in actuality apply to
reality. Usually these consequences are not good... jail,
termination of relationships, health problems, etc.
Now, don't get the idea I think escape is bad, because it's not,
unless taken to the extreme, and mistaken for comfort in the
relationship. I think escape is a fine thing IF you both
recognize that's what you're doing. In fact, many "special
friends" or "adventure partner" relationships are based purely
on escape, and that's a great thing... as long as both people
realize that and continue to make reality based decisions, not
"illusion based" decisions. But, what often happens is one or
both partners mistakes escape for comfort, and starts making
decisions based on illusion, not reality. I think many long term
relationships go bad for this reason. Can escape be part of a
successful long term relationship? Sure, and it should be IF
"true comfort" is present. "Special friends" or "adventure
partners" can be based purely on escape, but if you want to have
a successful long term relationship with a wonderful woman, you
must be able to provide her true comfort IN ADDITION to escape.
So what is "true comfort?" True comfort comes from the creation
of a different reality, the molding and changing of a current
reality to create outcomes which lead to comfort and security.
The old reality is changed, not "retreated from." With "escape"
you're dealing with two versions of reality: reality itself and
"illusion of reality." With comfort you're creating, changing,
molding, and shaping your own reality. When you are aware of
this distinction, and controlling the direction, your
relationship improves on many levels.
True comfort in a relationship comes only from true strength.
Only a truly strong man can create his own reality. And true
strength comes from sound mind, true character, desire and the
willingness to pay the price to create that comfort for her and
for you. That means, learning, studying, reading and working on
"reality creation"... developing the ability to create your own
outcomes with attraction, with money, with your health and with
your relationships. When you can do that, you will achieve
fulfillment.
When she knows you can create a reality for her and you in these
areas she will feel true comfort, even if she herself is already
capable of creating these things for herself. Why would a
"capable woman" settle for an "incapable man" who can provide
only escape, not true comfort? The answer is, she won't, at
least not for long. She may indulge herself in escape for a bit,
but when the escape is over and it's time to get back to
reality, she'll continue her search for the MAN who provides her
with true comfort in the relationship she wants.
The lesson is this: if you feel you're ready for a long term
relationship with a wonderful woman who makes every part of your
day brighter, you must be strong enough to create true comfort
for her. If not, you will only create escape, and your time with
her will be momentary. Escape is great for some things, even as
part of a long term relationship, but not as its foundation.
When it's true comfort you're providing her she will stay with
you until the end... and beyond.