Personals - What To Do If You're Disappointed
What If You're Disappointed When You Meet In-Person?
Online dating can really be amusing. A lot of people even find
it workable and gratifying. In fact, there are more benefits
other people do not realize unless they try online dating
themselves.
However, not all online dating escapades produce positive
results in the end. There are instances wherein the expectations
sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality.
Take for example the case of a person who was lucky enough to
find somebody he thinks is the right girl for him. He replied on
her profile and when he received an answer from the girl, they
started to communicate frequently.
What happens on their online dating is a series of continuous
communication, exchanging messages, chatting continuously, and
spending hours over the phone.
Because of the instant chemistry that evolved each time they
talk to each other, the guy had emotionally built up the
possibility of having a true, and not virtual, relationship with
the girl. That is why he decided to set up their first real date.
As they day came when they agreed to meet for lunch, everything
seem to have crumbled into pieces. The girl appeared to be
somewhat different what the guy had expected or recalled. What
made the meeting even worse is that what used to be a cheerful,
lively conversation they usually had whenever they talk on the
phone or chat in the Internet suddenly becomes so stiff and
strained.
And as the date comes to an end, the girl said that she had a
nice time and enjoyed the day. The problem suddenly draws in.
The guy does not know what to say or do.
This kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online
dating. There are many cases wherein two people just don't click
when they start to meet each other in person.
A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask
why such things happen. They find it hard to believe that the
person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely
different when in person.
Hence, they try to assess themselves what went wrong. Is it
their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the
other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people who indulge into online dating is
that they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to
their dates online, they are communicating, not with a person
but with a series of texts, with no person involved. This is
because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person
can always deceive his or her date.
So, when this happens, personal meetings would really end up
like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is
entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.
Nevertheless, the problem is still there. One should know how to
gradually exit from the situation without having to hurt the
other person's feelings.
So, for people who wish to know how to do this, here's a list of
some useful tips that you can use and make rejections a little
easier to bear.
1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having
the right chemistry in the first place, or pointing out the
reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.
In order to break things easily, it would be better for a person
not to mention anything that will focus on the issue of not
getting the expectations one had started to build before they
even meet in person. It is wrong to emphasize on the physical
qualities of the person that is why the other person does not
want to communicate with him or her anymore.
2. It is best for the concerned person to try to explain to the
other person the importance of finding each other's right mate
in order to build a happy relationship.
An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on
explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of
such value could be detrimental in one's relationship.
3. Excuses will only make the matter worst.
Rejections should be instigated in such a way that the other
person will not be hurt. However, this does not mean that the
person will have all the right to make such lousy excuses.
There are instances wherein the other person can sense the
effort in making lame defenses and would only be hurt more.
4. People should be more consistent on their decisions.
There are instances wherein people start to tell the other
person that their relationship will not work, but in the long
run, comes back rushing into the other person's life because of
the realization that he or she is wrong about his or her
decisions after all. This will only make the matter worst and
will only generate negative feelings.
5. it's best for the concerned individual to let the other
person express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then,
the concerned person should try to exert a little effort in
answering the questions as honestly as possible.
The bottom line here is that when a person gets disappointed
after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be
better to set things straight at once and put an end on the
situation before it gets heated up.
Moreover, the other person should learn how to empathize with
the other person so as to understand what they would feel if
they were on their shoes.
It is all a matter of being sensitive at the same time being
honest on what the other person would feel.