Meeting with Other Swingers
You've scoured the internet, gone to a few swingers clubs and
found a great couple or a few couples. What do you do now?
Suddenly, it can feel like a first date all over again. And it
should in many respects. You want to impress the other couple,
while also seeing if you can get along.
Before you go
Setting up a meeting in a non-sexual environment is the best
place to begin. If you've met in a swingers club, you still want
to take this step to see the other couple in a more 'normal'
setting.
Talk about where you both want to meet. You may want to find
somewhere that will allow you to talk openly without worrying
about others listening.
It's time to look pretty now. Men, you need to look nice. This
means dress shoes and dress pants. You can wear a nice shirt as
well. I don't think that a jacket or tie is necessary, unless
the restaurant or meeting place is more upscale. And for the
women, you will want to dress to impress. Don't be afraid to
show off your best assets, without looking too provocative.
Again, the setting can help to determine what you will want to
wear. You want to blend in with everyone else.
Take showers (I hope that I didn't have to say that) and wear a
little cologne or perfume. Women, put on nice makeup and
jewelry. Men, take the time to trim your facial hair (if you
have any). Arrive on time.
When you're there
You've all sat down, ordered some drinks and are starting to
talk. At this point, you generally want to talk about everyday
things--your jobs, your families, etc. If you feel uncomfortable
sharing something, then you don't have to. What's important at
this stage is seeing how you communicate.
If you're sitting in silence, then it might not be a good sign
for a swinging relationship. Likewise, if you can only talk to
each other while drinking heavily, that too may not be a good
sign. Watch the alcohol during the first few meetings.
You will generally be able to see if this is a couple for you
because you'll feel like friends, rather than strangers. And if
it doesn't work out, that's okay, but be clear if you're not
interested at that point.
If all goes well...
This is the point where your open communication will come into
play. If you're feeling good about each other and you want more,
then start talking about it. Talk about what you want in a
swinging relationship and see where the conversation goes. You
may make plans for a more private meeting the next time.
Discuss rules that you may want to make and the terms of
protection (both birth and STD) for everyone. This is no time to
be shy, especially when you're talking about your health and the
health of someone else.
If you're satisfied with your talk, then you can figure out your
next meeting.
Now the real fun begins...