Is There Life After Love? Celebrity Splitsville and How it
Affects "Mere Mortals"
Whether we want to admit it or not, even for those who are
adamant in their denial of watching the tabloid reports, we're
all affected by the news of celebrity break-ups.
The latest rounds to end the season in a not so bright fashion
are: Nichole Richie and Adam Goldstein; Valerie Bertinelli and
Eddie Van Halen; Christina Applegate and Johnathan Schaech. With
rumors flying about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's
break-up on the horizon; millions of pages dedicated to the
looming divorce of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Where's the
hope for us?
How can we, as "mere mortals," believe in ever lasting love? In
the back of our minds we think that these celebrities have
everything any couple could possibly need to enjoy the happiest
"ever after" life imagined. I can't tell you how many times I
hear people say, "If only we had more money;" "A bigger house;"
"If I were better looking;" "If I lost more weight;" "My life
would be perfect;" "Our relationship wouldn't have so much
stress;" "I would be happy."
We look at the famous and say, "They are the "beautiful"
people." "They travel the world." "Have beautiful mansions and
lots of money." "They have an army of people waiting to do their
every bidding: publicists, managers, accountants, housekeepers
and chiefs." "If only I were in their shoes."
What a great example and lesson to all of us "not so fortunate"
people who aren't blessed with their lives and the kind of money
they posses; that money doesn't make a relationship happy. Time,
effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive.
I'm not implying they don't put the time and effort into their
relationships, only that all the things we say, "If only we
had..." won't make our relationships last longer or be happier
than theirs were.
Key factors to a lasting relationship are laughter, a sense of
humor about life as well as a lot of hard work. These three
things have always been a common thread for every successful and
happy relationship I have interviewed over the years. Every one
of them say the same thing: They work hard; don't go to bed
angry, resolving "issues" right away; and they laugh with each
other. A step that can help you regain the spark in your love
life is something I call Soul Gazing. It's a simple technique of
gazing into your partner's eyes. I usually recommend 15 minutes,
but in the beginning, 2-3 is fine. No talking, no looking away.
I have seen this technique strengthen relationships that were
already strong and help those relationships that were on the
brink of disaster. Try it. If you want to have the love you
deserve, remember my simple rule: Love is a gift, it's not a
right. Love is a decision, it's not a feeling. Make the decision
to make your relationship right, so you too can have the lasting
and deep love you deserve. Copyright 2006 Jaci Rae - "The Rae of
Hope" TM