H.A.L.T. for Stress Relief
Carrie was on the verge of a meltdown when she called her friend
Sarah. "Tom just called. He's stuck at work for three more
hours! I know he can't help it, but I'm about to blow! I am
exhausted. I just finally got Sam down for his nap, and now the
baby woke up. This house is a wreck, and I wanted to get it
ready..."
"HALT!"
Sarah's voice startled Carrie into an embarrassed silence for
just a moment, before she remembered what Sarah meant. H.A.L.T.
was their signal for stress relief. It reminded Carrie that she
needed to stop and notice whether she was Hungry, Angry, Lonely,
Tired, or all of the above.
"Let's see, we know you're angry and tired, and you were lonely
before you called me," Sarah teased. "What have you had to eat
today?"
Carrie got some stress relief just from hearing that question.
"Well, I had a bowl of cereal this morning, but I haven't had
lunch yet," she admitted. "Just coffee." It was 3 p.m.
Carrie put the baby in her swing and made herself a sandwich
while she visited with Sarah. "Be sure you sit down to eat,"
reminded Sarah. After a sandwich and ten minutes of adult
conversation, Carrie was no longer hungry, angry, or lonely.
Having some food and a chance to vent gave her a lot of stress
relief, even though she was still tired. But now, her head was
clear, and Carrie could prioritize. She could see that she
didn't have to clean the whole house in the next three hours.
She could run the dishwasher, so they'd have dishes for supper.
And she could sit down and rock the baby for a while.
As Carrie said goodbye to Sarah and hung up, she thought, "Why
is it that the more I need stress relief, the harder it is to
remember the things that help?"
That's just the nature of getting over-stressed. You don't have
to be completely overwhelmed like Carrie to experience this.
Just try playing solitaire on the computer sometime when you're
angry. You won't see as many options as you do when you're
relaxed. The more you try to force solutions to puzzles or
problems, the more those solutions elude you.
Besides, there's something about being under stress that tempts
us to seek relief by being very dramatic. Our voices get louder
and higher, and our muscles tense. These are symptoms that we
have forgotten to breathe. When we're on stress overload and
seeking a dramatic catharsis, the idea of stopping just to
breathe sounds incredibly boring. We're sure that wouldn't
possibly help us. "If you only knew what I was dealing with," we
think, "you wouldn't suggest something so mundane to somebody as
sensitive as I am."
I know, I know. I used to feel the same way when my 6-year-old
world was crashing, and my parents suggested I might need a nap.
Breathe anyway. In fact, take five minutes to breathe. If you're
too busy to take five, then you need at least 15. Count your
breaths, if that's what it takes to divert your mind from
upsetting thoughts. If you must think about something else, then
think about giving yourself the stress relief of addressing your
needs, whether you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.