Conflict Management - Parisian Style (part 2)
Copyright 2006 Harrison Monarth
Continued...
Toxic Rhetoric Leads to Poisoned Communication Climate
A leader's inability to choose an appropriate communication
strategy in a conflict situation can have disastrous
consequences, as witnessed by the French riots.
Instead of using language that could calm heated attitudes and
discourage further violence, Nicolas Sarcozy chose to declare
war on the young rioters and challenged them anew by announcing,
"I will fight them in the back alleys of the suburbs!" To no big
surprise, the rioting teenagers accepted the challenge and
increased their attacks on suburbia with Sarcozy's rhetoric
providing the fuel of hatred and desperation.
What lesson can business leaders learn from the French Interior
Ministers communication strategy?
Irreversible Damage
All communication, whether intentional or unintentional, is
irreversible. We often wish that we could take something back
we've said, and rephrase or rethink our language. But that is of
course impossible. While retractions, apologies and explanations
serve as attempts to "smooth things over", once a damaging or
toxic remark has been uttered, it has already hit its target
without any chance of being recovered. The impression is
created, the message received. Such is the power of words. Hence
the value of the old saying, "think before you speak."
While most of us do not carry the burden of running a country,
important communication lessons can be extracted from the
leaders that are directly involved in France's unrest.
Lessons in Conflict
Conflict is a part of life, as it represents a struggle to have
one's needs and goals met. This is instinctive for most humans
and whenever we face a barrier in our quest to have our needs
met, we have certain options. Submit to the circumstances and
suffer silently; speak up, assert ourselves and argue for our
position; or take action to change our situation and fight for
what we believe in.
The worst strategy in any conflict situation is to insult your
opponents, tell them they are wrong and promise to squash them.
To try and press a lid onto a boiling pot of water brings about
predictable results every time. It's the same with communication
during conflict.
Rather than applying counter-pressure, smart leaders seek to
release tension and de-escalate conflict by adopting a
collaborative communication style, focusing on facts while
diverting the focus from often heightened emotions.
In the case of the French riots, Interior Minister Sarcozy
should have immediately addressed the rioting youths by
acknowledging their frustrations and letting them know that he
understands their pain and struggles.
Further, instead of publicly insulting the protesters and
labeling them as "scum", he could have avoided an increase in
rioting, by clearly and demonstratively communicating his
commitment to promptly launch an investigation into the deaths
of the two immigrant teenagers that sparked the rioting.
A conciliatory next step in his conflict communication could
have been to address the need to evaluate housing, unemployment
and infrastructure in impoverished suburban neighborhoods
throughout the country.
The first and most important step in any conflict situation is
to consider and understand where the other side is coming from.
That consideration has to be stated as clearly and sincerely as
possible. Your opponents, particularly in a potentially
explosive situation, have to understand that you are genuinely
interested in considering the issues from their perspective.
This will aid you tremendously in calming emotions and focusing
on resolving conflicting goals when communicating during a
crisis.
Our Communication Options in Conflict Situations
Whenever we are faced with a crisis, it is important that we
remember that we have options in the way we respond to the
situation. Here are some of the more productive strategies you
can use in place of the ones that tend to escalate a conflict
rather than contribute to resolving it:
* Instead of resorting to personal attacks and insults, focus on
making the issues the center of discussion. * Instead of trying
to make your point with emotionally laden rhetoric in an already
emotionally heated climate, argue with reason and rational
thought, sticking to facts and telling the truth. * Instead of
focusing on winning your argument at any cost, offer ideas on
how both sides can collaborate to find solutions to contentious
issues. * Instead of pressuring your opposition, work to
persuade them with logic and simple language. * Instead of
pushing the other side into a corner with no way out, give them
an opportunity to change their position without losing face. *
Instead of "digging in your heels" when you argue your point of
view, leave open the possibility of genuinely considering an
alternative, mutually acceptable, solution. * Instead of
thinking and speaking in limitations, adopt an attitude of
possibility and collaborative creativity. * Instead of refusing
to listen to your opposition's arguments, show sincere interest
and appreciation for their point of view by active listening and
asking clarifying questions.
Mind Your Language
Leaders are always on record. Interior Minister Sarcozy may
become painfully aware of this fact, as his counterproductive
rhetoric during the riots may come back to haunt him during his
effort to replace Jacques Chirac as President of France.
As arrogant leadership rhetoric is an unfortunate but pervasive
trait suffered by employees and citizens the world over, it is a
universal liability leaders of organizations and countries
everywhere must guard against.
Particularly in a conflict situation, people look to leaders for
answers. They look for direction, optimism, hope and comfort in
the leader's words. Thus, when a leader contributes to
escalating a conflict with careless rhetoric rather than resolve
it, his credibility suffers and people's faith in his leadership
may be irreversibly damaged.
To avoid such a fate in my own communication with others, I
always think of my dear Mother's words from childhood:
"Watch your language, young man."
And I do.