A Quick Start Guide To Writing Your Memoir
I've learned that when a person starts thinking about telling
their life story, they tend to overthink it. They get caught up
in worrying about things such as what others will think and who
would publish it. The whole thought process results in paralysis
so they can't even figure out how to get started. But if you do
your thinking in a more focused way, and then follow it up with
specific actions, you'll have your completed pages done before
you know it! Here's how to get going.
Who is the Book For?
Before sitting down at your desk, decide who you are writing
for. Are you writing for a wider audience (the general public)?
Are you writing for your children and grandchildren? Answering
this question will take many concerns off your plate from the
very beginning. For instance, if you are writing only for family
members, your writing style can be more intimate and informal,
almost as though you are writing them a letter. You also
wouldn't have to worry about getting an agent or attracting a
publishing house because you know you'll either print the book
yourself or have a self-publishing company produce a handful of
finished books for you.
If you are writing for a wider audience you will have much more
to deliver in terms of story, action and writing style. But
let's keep this on the back burner for now and only think in
terms of one thing: you know you have to write well. The rest
you can worry about when the book is done.
What Story or Stories Do You Want to Tell?
You don't have to do the David Copperfield thing and go all the
way back to "I am born." Contrary to popular belief, real life
doesn't always make for interesting writing. So instead of going
the James Frey route and embellishing, as he did with "A Million
Little Pieces" (and you see where that got him!), focus instead
on the great stories that have happened to you. I've heard from
many people who desire to tell the story of their World War II
experiences. They can do whole books just on that subject.
There's no need to do more unless you have more to say.
Joan Didion's recent memoir, "The Year of Magical Thinking", is
all about her grieving after the death of her husband, John
Gregory Dunne. It is a beautiful example of what can be done by
examining just a small portion of your life. Likewise, Maya
Angelou covered her life experiences in more than one book. So
you don't have to write down everything in one place. What story
are your burning to tell right now? Start there!
Skip the Writing Part--For Now
This may seem counter-intuitive to your intent to write a book,
but if putting down that first word or sentence is too hard, you
may find it easier to talk your book out of you first. All you
have to do is give yourself a rough outline of what you want to
talk about and then speak your stories into a recording device.
You probably tell these stories anyway more often than you
realize, which is probably why people say, "You should write
that down". This will feel natural for you, especially if you
enlist a friend or family member to interview you. That makes it
easier than just lecturing into the air, plus the person you
choose can help you to dig out certain details that you either
have forgotten or just didn't think to bring out. For instance,
a curious interviewer might ask "Who was with you when you
stormed that beach in France?" or "What kind of car were you
driving when you first saw Mom walking down the street?" or
"What were you wearing when you met Martin Luther King Jr.?"
Even Mitch Albom did this. Even though I had read "Tuesdays with
Morrie", it didn't hit me until I saw the television movie based
on the book that he had recorded Morrie during each visit. He
didn't have to work from notes or memory. I'm sure the tone of
Morrie's voice was a constant inspiration for Mr. Albom to keep
going and finish the book. I'm sure your family would love to
have such a recording of you. The recording could be a gift
itself, even if you never turned it into a book. But this is
about creating a book so...
Transcribe for an Instant Rough Draft
Have a friend or family member or hire someone to to take the
words from your recording and put them on paper. Most
transcription services can do this fairly quickly, depending on
the length of the work. I use eTranscription Solutions (http://www.etranscrip
tionsolutions.org) to transcribe my seminars and they are
fast and accurate. The beauty of this is that once the
transcript is done, you'll suddenly have a rough draft of your
book in your hands. No more blank pages to contend with!
Shape Your Book
Now this part should be really fun. Once you have your rough
draft, you can begin to shape your story like an artist with
clay. Again, beware the impulse to embellish, but try to give
things a beginning, a middle and an end. Keep your audience in
mind. Remember, your writing doesn't have to be fancy. You just
want to make sure you're being compelling, and that you're
getting your message across. If you have any doubt about the way
something is written, read it out loud. That way you'll be able
to hear whether a phrase is awkward, if your sentences are too
long or if you have fragments instead of complete sentences.
Finish It!
The best way to ensure that you'll complete your project is to
set a deadline for yourself and honor it. Otherwise you may let
it linger for months or years, working on it only a little at a
time. Maybe you could tie your deadline to a family event such
as a holiday or a reunion. Wouldn't that be the perfect place to
present your completed memoir? If you seek to get your book
published traditionally instead of doing it yourself, you may
not have control over when you'll have a finished book in your
hands, but don't let that stop you. Go as far as you can and
present that work, even if it's a stack of photocopied pages or
a box of cassette tapes to your loved ones. They will appreciate
the gift--and your effort--for years to come.