Here is some proof from the help desk stupid questions archives at CSN:

A customer was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

Another customer called tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

Computer companies have change the text to their manuals from "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the question where is the "Any Key"?

A confused caller was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find the printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

A woman called with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

And last but not least: TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!

About CSN: A nationwide business to business computer service company, Computer Service Now, the CSN website can be found at http://ComputerServiceNow.com/ or toll free at 877-422-1907. CSN specializes in nationwide multi-location computer support.

John Beagle is president of Xponex Web and Media Services and can be reached at 513-422-1907x222. Xponex.com/