Social Conversations - How Women and Men Differ
It's hard to deny that in social conversations, men and women
have different styles. Here are some of the basic differences,
albeit generalizations, in how the sexes use the gift of gab:
1. What's Polite?
Her style: at a party or social event, most women will wait for
an opportunity to join in a conversation. Women are taught that
interrupting a conversation is rude.
His style: interruption is an art to him. He does it well. He'll
voice his opinion on the price of gas and makes sure that person
over there in the back can hear him.
2. How Many Words?
Her style: whether conversing a social conversations or just
chatting with a close friend, women use more words to say
whatever it is they want to say. From a young age, women are
taught to use more expressive words. Women tend to use language
to enhance connections.
His style: exactly how few words can he get away with using? Men
are seen as being uncaring because of their aversion to
emotional-type talks. In social conversations they use language
to promote social dominance.
3. Any Requests?
Her style: women don't usually demand things. They request them.
"Would you please open the car door?" If they do say something
in a more demanding way, it will often be followed with, "if you
don't mind."
His style: "open the car door." Men don't tend to beat around
the bush - they prefer the direct approach. They are more likely
to command or demand.
4. I can't say that!
Her style: women don't just talk. They want to share the
experience of what it is they are talking about. Senses and
emotions are brought into the conversation.
This added expressiveness could sometimes be frustrating for men
because they wonder when she'll make her point.
His style: you won't catch him saying that your friends' new
baby is adorable. Ever.
5. What's the problem?
Her style: you might not see this side of her in social
conversations, but when a women has something troubling her, she
needs to talk about it. It's not that she hasn't thought about
it, it's just nice to have someone lend an ear to the situation,
sometimes.
His style: he's thought about the problem. Now he's going to
attempt to solve it. He likes to fix things. They respond by
dealing with the problem discussed.
Men are not aware that women usually only need a soundboard.
They certainly aren't aware of any empathy that might be needed
- they think you expect a solution and offer one!
Next time you are in a situation where you can listen to and
observe men and women in social conversations, see if you can
spot these style differences.