Kitchen Learnings

like he said he would. It looks great, it feels great, and I love the result. Major life lessons have been reinforced boldly by this kitchen adventure, and I am eager to share them with you. THERE IS OFTEN GREAT WISDOM IN PROCRASTINATION! Take a deeper look before berating yourself for putting something off. Your inclination to postpone may be right on the money. I have been wanting to do this kitchen renovation for years. Years! It has been a major toleration of mine. In the 20 years since the last time we re-did the kitchen, it got very worn and out-of-date. For example, the original finish on the floor was long gone, so even when the floor was clean, it didn't look clean. Also, it had a cozy, funky, cheerful flavor which was perfect for my young family 20 years ago, but which now seemed WAY too sweet for my taste. I'd been eager to bring this kitchen up to date for a long time, and somewhat unhappy with myself for not getting to it. But I waited til this year to finally do it. Several things became perfectly clear on Renovation Day 1, when the appliances were removed and the floor was torn up. I realized I could not have done this when my kids still lived at home. I would have felt too conflicted about subjecting them to the chaos and irregularity that a kitchen renovation inevitably creates. Second, I realized I could never have done this while my dog, Ting, the American Eskimo, was alive. He was a lovely and loving member of the family, but so intensely high-strung and excitable that his barking alone, with all the coming and going of the working guys, would have landed all of us, work crew and my husband and me included, in a residential facility for totally, TOTALLY stressed out people. With no kids and no dog at home, the chaos and commotion were manageable. In addition, the renovation process required frequent consultations with the contractor, as various problems revealed themselves and needed to be solved ASAP. As it was, juggling the kitchen work with my coaching practice was do-able. If my kids' lives and schedules and needs had been thrown in as well, something would have suffered. I can only juggle so many balls at a time! COACHING TIP: When you find yourself procrastinating something important, before you pummel yourself for it, take a good, deep look at your reasons for procrastinating. You may be very wise to postpone this task! If there is good reason to postpone it, here's what to do. Schedule an appointment with yourself for sometime in the future at which time you will reconsider this project. Write it into your planner. And then LET IT GO! KITCHEN LEARNINGS, II Back to the Kitchen Part II brings you once again into my 13 x 13' kitchen with its new wall of windows facing out to the cardinals and grape hyacinths. The renovation's lessons continue for me. This one resounds as: TAKING A HUGE STEP FORWARD IN ONE PART OF YOUR LIFE PULLS YOU FORWARD IN OTHER PARTS OF YOUR LIFE. Have you witnessed this dynamic in your own life? You take your marriage to a new level of intimacy and soon find ALL your close relationships are deeper. You overcome your travel-fear and take some exciting trips, and immediately afterward effectively handle a difficult work situation you never thought you could handle. You take a full-time job after being a part-time Mom all these years, and suddenly are a better limit-setter with your teenage kids. In my life this has played out in vivid color. During my last career, as a systems analyst, I started "doing music" again after a break of almost 25 years. As a musician, I found myself stepping out of my comfort zone and taking bold risks, behaviors that brought satisfying results. I am convinced that my learnings as a musician paved the way for me to take giant steps forward in my professional career. By then I believed in myself as someone who took responsible risks and created good results. I left my systems job and began a career transition that eventually led me into my own business as a Personal Coach. And now I see this dynamic again with the kitchen. Doing the renovation reaffirmed for me that I can achieve big results. Working through financial and design impediments reinforced that I can overcome obstacles and resistance. The room's new look and feel tells me that living with higher standards is possible for me. I am so enjoying this kitchen with its cool blues and grays, increased natural light, and clean lines. This pleasure confirms that I know what I want and am capable of manifesting it. What a concept! And apparently one I needed to reinforce. BEING PULLED FORWARD With the completion of the renovation, I eagerly took on another big challenge. My compelling new project is to ride the Pan Mass Challenge with my 24-year-old daughter in early August. We'll cycle 170 miles over 2 days and raise $4000 or more for cancer research. This involves two big hurdles: training to ride two 85-mile days and raising the money. I am particularly focused on the training now, on a daily basis. The challenge feels daunting, but my kitchen speaks strongly as a reminder of what I can do. I am very excited about this. The challenges I am writing about here are personal ones: home and fitness. Your challenges may be in the realm of career or contribution, relationship, money, health or community. WHY DOES STEPPING FORWARD IN ONE ARENA PULL YOU FORWARD IN OTHER ARENAS TOO? Underlying this powerful dynamic are several key principles. ELIMINATING TOLERATIONS FREES UP ENERGY AND RESOURCES. Putting up with situations that are not really ok with you is costly for you! For example, that nasty dent in your car actually weighs on you daily. You know you should get it fixed; part of your total energy is tied up in carrying around that loose end. You will continue to be bogged down by it, to some extent, until you either take care of the dent or decide that you're not going to. Once you get it handled, you are no longer expending personal resources tolerating it. That energy becomes available to you for other, more creative and positive purposes. The larger the toleration you eliminate, the greater the energy that becomes available to you. For me, updating my kitchen eliminated a long-standing toleration. Getting the toleration handled (off my list) freed up personal energy that I am now using to get myself into shape for an endurance event. Do you have desires that are waiting in the wings until you have time and energy to devote to them? Try eliminating some tolerations. Doing so may free up the time and energy you need! Here are some classic tolerations, big and small, that you might be unconsciously supporting: 1. Your car needs maintenance or collision work or just needs to be cleaned. 2. You have nagging worries about your finances. 3. You have a medical or dental problem that needs to be handled. 4. A relationship is floundering: you know you need to open a conversation about it. What are your next steps for eliminating these and other tolerations? RAISING YOUR STANDARDS SUPPORTS YOUR GROWTH! When you raise your standards, you feel better about yourself at a very deep level. You begin attracting a higher standard of people and opportunities into your life. You uncover talents and skills to do things you didn't know you were capable of doing. Raising your standards also affirms that you are powerful and can get yourself back on course. For example, when you eliminate the clutter in your home and maintain a clear and neat home, you experience relief and pleasure. It's very motivating to experience your personal power in this way. You are likely to raise your standards in other ways as well because you know you can and because it's such a pleasure to be on course again! What standards to you want to raise? YOUR NEXT STEPS Here are some potential Next Steps for you: 1. Eliminate a toleration. 2. Raise a standard. 3. Allow yourself the pleasure of learning. Take one giant step forward. 4. Identify what you're attracted to doing. Then do it. If you're considering hiring a coach to help you with challenges like these, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com for an initial consultation at no charge. Copyright 2003 Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.