I'll Take My Cat

The battle between cats & dogs has been waged since the dawn of time. Seemingly opposites, cats & dogs can be seen as metaphors for the two sides of our own psyche. The desperate side of us that wants nothing more than to be loved; and the independent side, that can take care of itself. The dog loves everyone. He is sloppy and carefree. He is unashamed of his feelings and will walk through fire if it pleases his owner. Dogs will wear funny hats for us, point at birds for us, they'll even go out in the snow to fetch the newspaper at the end of the driveway for us. In exchange for this embarrassing level of devotion, they depend on us for everything. Dogs must be walked, fed, and bathed by their owners. They can't take care of even the most basic needs in life. Dogs need us. They really, really need us. Cats, on the other hand, don't need anyone. They can take care of themselves. Cats are wholly and completely self-sufficient. Cats prefer to be left alone. They don't want to be bothered with the pettiness of our silly lives. Cats won't be made fools of. They have too much self-respect. A cat won't come running to lick your face when you come home. He's got other things on his mind. While, the dog has been sitting there for 9 hours waiting for your return, the cat hasn't even noticed that you left. Take your dog out for a walk and you'd better bring a poop bag to dispose of the giant deposit he's going to make on your neighbor's lawn. Cats can take care of their own bathroom needs, thank-you very much. All they need from us is a relatively clean litter box. Heck, if you let the cat outside, he'll very neatly take care of his business, and not on the neighbor's lawn, where everyone can see it. The cat will sneak quietly behind the bushes to relieve himself, and then cover it up so we don't have look at it. It's natural for a cat to adapt to whatever situation life presents. Why do you think cats on the loose are called "alley cats" while loose dogs are called "strays?" It's natural to assume that a dog is lost if he is without a human companion. Cats can live their whole lives without human contact. Cats can catch birds or mice to eat, find warm places to sleep, and even bathe themselves. A stray dog won't catch and eat a squirrel. No, he'll degrade himself by digging through a garbage can to find the leftover tuna noodle casserole you threw away. A dog will be your best friend for life, as long as you feed him. It's true that dogs are very loyal, but that loyalty can be swayed very easily by anyone with snausages to offer. Cats don't give their affection away like dogs do. You must earn a cat's trust and devotion. Being loved by a cat is the ultimate indication of your value as a being on this planet. If a cat trusts and respects you, you can be sure that you are truly worthy! If a dog loves you, it's probably because you smell like bacon.