5 Steps to More Effective Parenting
Raising children is one of the most fulfilling jobs in the
world. However, it is also one of the most difficult. Here are 5
tips that will make you a more effective parent.
1. Be a Good Role Model
You are your child's number one standard. Your child learns a
great deal about how to act simply by watching you. This is even
more true when they are younger.
Therefore, it is important that you model the traits that you
wish to cultivate in your child. Respect, friendship, honesty,
kindness, and trust are all great lessons that can be taught
right at home simply by your actions.
2. Give Them Your Undivided Time
Time is the most important gift that you can give your children.
This can often be hard in a world of demands and deadlines, but
it can make all the difference in your child's life. Children
who do not receive the attention that they need will often react
in misbehavior because they know that this is the quickest way
to get attention. Go to any school and you will see that this is
true. The ones who misbehave always get much more attention than
those that are well-behaved.
Therefore, it is important that you take time out each day to
spend some quality time with your children. This can be as
simple as having a family dinner or organizing one day out of
the week to have a family game night.
Sometimes the little things can make the biggest difference.
Putting a little note in their lunchbox, playing cards, reading
to them, tucking them in at night. All of these things show your
child that you care.
3. Be Flexible with Your Parenting Style
All kids are different and therefore no single parenting style
will work for all children. It's not a step-by-step formula
although we might sometimes wish it was.
Children also develop at different speeds and stages. Although
other children may be potty-trained, your child may still not be
ready, and that's usually o.k. Sometimes our expectations are
simply too high.
As a parent, you must constantly adjust your parenting styles
because what works this year probably will not work next year.
However, it is important that you always make yourself available
to your children. As they grow older they will start looking
more to their peers and others for role-models. However, if they
choose the wrong ones, you should tell them why you think so. If
you make time for your children at a young age, they will
probably make time for you when they are older. It's a two-way
relationship.
4. Show Your Children that Your Love is Unconditional
Your children should know that your love is unconditional, that
even when they mess up horribly that you still love and care for
them. Make sure he or she knows that you expect better of them
but that your love is there no matter what. When I was young, my
dad would tell me that he loved me unconditionally and it was
one of the many reasons that we are so close. Your actions can
show your kids that you love them, but they need to hear it too.
5. Reward Your Child for Being Good
Positive reinforcement often works better than negative
guidance. Often times, we criticize far more than we compliment
without even recognizing it.
Whenever possible, catch your child when they are doing
something right, and comment on it. It doesn't matter whether
they made their bed without asking, cleaned off the kitchen
table, or were patient with a sibling. Your encouraging words
will spur even further good behavior. Be generous with your
rewards - your love, hugs, and compliments can work miracles in
your child's life. You may soon find that they are learning
kindness, trust, and love directly from you. There are many
influences in the world that can effect your child, make sure
that you teach them what's most important.